October 14th 2019

Morning cruised around smoothly. I took two classes of Geography, one the Geography of India and the other Geography of the World. I felt happy as the 9th and 10th graders were active and attentive.
It’s evening now and I am looking at the colored sky, the setting of the sun, all melodious epiphany. Yes, we can learn the art of the novel by looking at nature.

I pondered on certain Biblical thoughts mainly the concept of sin. All humans are sinful because of the Sin of Adam and Eve. But there’s a difference. A child who dies won’t be punished for the sin of Adam and Eve and will partake heaven. The second sin is the sin from knowledge, a deliberate, scheming sin such as adultery, murder, covetousness and the whole lot. A mature human can be judged in Heaven based on the sin committed by willful knowledge.
I also thought about death. Though I was an atheist, the fear of death made me a theist. The dreams I had of monsters are very frightening. I have a fear-phobia-complex. I sometimes think that any moment that I might die. I also think that I might have an accident. I am also afraid of committing suicide.
What is the Manna for writing? The sounds, sights and smells of nature are favorite tools for a writer. Writing is like: in Wordsworth’s words: I wandered lonely as a cloud. The colors of the sky are singing a synaesthesia. Nature is the embodiment of the soul and becomes a text for writing. The manna of the clouds poured a celestial music. The brook played the Song of Songs. The waves frolicked in laughter. Wind kissed my cheeks making me glow with joy. Thunder grumbled in rage.

Writing is a painting of words. Writing bequeaths art in the form of figures of speech. Syria is a wailing banshee. The sword of Damocles hangs precariously over Hong Kong. A white beard covered the earth. Fortune is a Goddess of luck. The ribs of freedom started protesting. Seasons are a joy of music. I have a money-empty pocket. Rock-bulldozing rhythm makes the brain go berserk. Cure the tempest of my mind with an apothecary. Palestine let nectars of freedom fly as dove making a homeland to live. Dramatize life on the stage of the theater. Let not the poison of angst become the dread of your soul. Let dreams be saddled by fortune’s wand. Eye not lust: Eye Love. Patience is a wretch of oppression. The heart is a nation o love. Slam a fist on corruption. My neurons are a punch bag.

August 1st 2019

August 1st 2019
Today was a slow paced day without nothing much happening in my life. I am a happy go lucky person not worrying much about what will happen tomorrow. I live my life trusting God Jehovah Jesus. He knows all my needs and he will bless me and give me his favor.

I took a few classes and really speaking I am fed up of teaching. I want to spend my future days writing and traveling to places. I am very fond of South East Asia and the Scandinavian Countries. I hope I can a significant sum of money by playing the lottery. I want to indulge all my senses into a muse of feeling. The passions of my soul are deep and they form an artistic tapestry. Poems live in my heart and are melodious to the soul. I always question myself as to why I should write. Writing is a Sun and Moon of beauty. Writing is a culture of art. Writing is the music of poetry. Birds fly on the page and their pen are wings in flight. I am a Christian liberal a one possessed by the Joy of finding Christ and trying so hard to abide in his will. God Jehovah Jesus will weather me through all the storms of life. Writing is the unveiling of the unconscious. Writing is a trope, a painting of words. I have decided to find the meaning of life as a creative writer. I am always asking the question: what of writing? What is writing? Writing is an art of the fugue in expression. Writing is the melody of birds in flight. Writing is a peaceful poem. The meaning of life is unraveled through writing. As a meaning: writing purposive. An artist is a purposist. Writing has a value and that is called Valuableization. My writing is a new writing of existential philosophy. Ontology shifts to a purposeality. We are valuablizaed individuals with God’s karma to live on this planet earth. Writing is also anecdotal or ironic presentation of life in irony. Through writing the meaning of the self in uncovered. Writing is poetic prose. Beauty is uncovered as a poem that moves gently across the sky. Through writing, the meaning of life is understood. Writing is a release of libidinal joys. Writing is the experience of the angst and using the faith of God to transcend it. Writing is a poem of art. Writing serenades as angels in flight. Writing blossoms a garden. Writing is Mozart’s Hallelujah. Writing is a musical garden where poets play their harps. Writing is pure passion of bequeathing sentiments of feeling. Writing is the emotion of the heart. Writing is a memoir of being captive. Writing is the joy of art in expression. Writing finds the self of meaning. Writing is a caring self. Writing is a loving self. Writing transcends the self into an art of meaning.

July 15th 2019

July 15, 2019
Morning was a late bard. Woke up and drenched cups of coffee. I feel so happy and contented as God is on my side. Muses danced in art—a ballet—objet d’ art. Clouds hung across the sky as beards.

I am comforted by the Bible Verse: Blessed are the Meek for they shall inherit the earth. I am reading the gospel of ST. Mathew. Again it says in the Gospel: Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. It also says: Blessed are the poor in spirit: for they shall see God. The Sermon on the Mount is my all-time favorite.

I got some letters from scammers—men impersonating as women, wanting me to transfer funds. I have grown tired of scammers.

Sometimes I get offers employment abroad. When I look at their mail address it is Gmail. Then I realize that they are serpents wanting to cheat the innocent with their poisonous fangs.

Sometimes I wonder what is a writerly consciousness. It’s a process which starts with the beginning of writing. Thoughts are the dictionary of the mind. And from there they have to be channeled into the writer’s pen. I still enjoy writing in a book. But mostly I do it on the desk top. It’s fun to imagine mythological figures as being real entities. Yes fairies, leprechauns, gargoyles, mermaids all populated as tales of a mental hallucination. Many a writer still experiments with these forms. The most intense desire of a writer is he or she would love to be read. A writer has to be an eccentric person. He has to portray customs and conventions in a bizarre manner. Sometimes writing is gun waiting to explode. Sometimes writing is a suicide of the pen. Sometimes writing has to resurrect with new forms. Writing is the passion of the pen. Writing is art divine. Writing is a magical formula. Writing is poetry that changes a landscape. Writing is muse that writes in the rhythm of Jazz. Writing is a monument as beautiful as the Tajmahal. Writing sometimes can be a diabolic symbol. Writing is Atlas carrying the earth in agony. Writing is a fruit that has grown from the seed. Writing is a new way expressing love for our creator. Writing is the excavation of the past. Writing is a sculpture resembling Rodin’s Thinker. Writing is an art of the danseuse. Writing is a lit cigarette blowing rings of smoke. Writing is the passion of the heart. Writing is an eclipse of the sun and the moon. Writing is the tides of the ocean. Writing is pleasant music for the ear. Writing is a symphony of music. Writing is a sweet that is good to taste. Writing should transform and motivate the mind. I write by invoking Hallelujah. Yes, Hallelujah is my password for writing. While writing I feel closer to God. I can feel his presence, his grace, his mercy and favor. Sometimes I write with a repentant heart. Sometimes I write out of angst and anxiety. Sometimes an experience is transformed into a fable. Writing is a quixotic pen. Cervantes in all his madness has portrayed man to be a torrent of struggling nature and who surprisingly balances reality with fantasy. Cervantes broke away from religion and fictionalized man’s being into an oasis of fiction. Borges is another all time favorites. From him I have discovered the writing of the whimsical script. He is a bard of pregnant prose. I have discovered a lot from the existential philosophers like Camus and Sartre. Being is epitomized has the heart of existence. Character is the resonance of the soul. Angst is carried in the well of the mind. Man’s character is hypnotized into tragic and stoic and paradoxically linked with triumph. My writing carries the colonial gift of the language and the pen. I am now writing post-coloniality as my own invention. My enemy is always lurking behind me. He is Dyer of the Jalllianwala Massacre. Yes, I have to free myself from the grips of colonial fangs. Freedom of being free, how much I relish it. My writing forms the canon of postcolonial literature. Why did the colonizers teach English? It is because they wanted a bunch of administrators. Indian writing in English is slowly freeing itself from that of a colonial consciousness. On the other hand the irony of it is, if I hadn’t learnt English, It would have been a big loss. I wonder as a writer what it is to be situated in a culture that is oriental and what it is to be a part of occidental culture. I consider myself a hybrid of both these cultures. The orient is my wife and the occident is my husband. I blend them with eclectic fusion. I am an Indian who loves the Gospel, Jazz, Rock and Blues. I am a writer who is fond of western thinkers like Camus, Sartre, Derrida and Foucault. I am a Christian with liberal theology. I am a writer who loves to travel and explore cultures. Sometimes I wonder what it is to be a writer. Writing won’t end till I die. I love to wander to places and I also love to be in touch with sights, smells and experiences. Writing is a poetry of prose a magic that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Writing is a beauty that will never fade. Writing is the will of staying firm when there are temptations and troubles in life. Writing is the ethereal, cosmic gift of God.

April 28th 2019

Morning mushroomed with a canopy of colors—little hymns made divine music—all is beautiful with me. I thank God Jehovah Jesus for his abundant blessings.

It is wonderful to think of how words acquire new cultural meanings with spread of the internet and globalization. A good example of that will be viral, selfie and web.

I am pondering on the art of writing. What could it be? Writing is primarily a narrative. In olden days dissemination was oral. Then there started the writing of texts. There are two types of writing. They are readable writing and interpretative writing.

Readable writing can also be called primary writing. It can be factual or literary. Readable writing is found in discourses like Philosophy, Math and Sciences are examples. Readable writing being literary can be a good story either in speech or in writing. Novels, Poetry, Drama, Films all belong to this genre.

Interpretative writing can be cultural, literary and philosophical. Let me use an example. Let me take the thoughts of structural and post-structural Philosophers.
Let me use an example to understand interpretative reading. Saussure is a famous structural Philosopher who introduced the Sign in Language. All language is made up of Signs. A sign is made up of the signifier and the Signified. A signifier is a visual tangible thing. A signified is an idea. For example if I say dove is peace, dove is the signifier and peace the signified. Then Roland Barthes who used the structuralist Sign to analyze fashions and culture. Philosophically speaking the sign was put into deconstruction by the philosopher Derrida. Deconstruction examines how signs privilege and marginalize people in texts. From Derrida I have developed a new idea of Philosophy called Binary Fusion. Binary Fusion is a text that does not marginalize or privilege anyone.

 

March 22 2019

I woke at 7:30 AM. I gave praises and adoration to God Jesus. Morn’s sweet breeze kissed my cheeks. Jewels flew across the sky. I have started reading the Gospel of Mathew.

I am engrossed in the Novel of Writing. I am thankful to God for many blessings given.

I have come to love my wife. She is a precious pearl of love and guitar of eroticism.

I was able to get a small prize at yesterday’s windfall.

A tarring machine on the road is cackling.

In the Gospel of Mathew it says: ‘yes on earth will be a yes in heaven’. I became wonderstruck with these words and I have applied them to my life.

Through writing I develop the content of the Novel. Experience is the biggest teacher. The novel which I write belongs to the genre of Kunstlerroman, a novel which describes the aesthetic development of the writer. I melody tropes and tropes are Picasso’s paint brush—tropes are a music of words in impressionism. Trivial incidents of life are made into epiphanies. Epiphanies are the soul of words. Let me use an epiphany here to highlight my point. Brook of beauty running through, gurgling moksha all the way through—swaying pebbles glistening karmic odes— samsara meanders pilgrimage blues. The movement of the brook is made into a rendition of metaphysics. Moksha is the Sanskrit word for salvation. The moving pebbles in the brook are identified with Karma. Samsara refers to the cycle of birth and rebirth. For me Samsara is the life living on earth.

I would also like to comments on time in the Novel. There are two different types of time—Inner time or dialogic time and narrative time or symbolic time. Inner time is a reflection of the consciousness of the writer. This can be done by the use of streams of consciousness. The symbolic time or narrative time is the time where a character lives, a time capitulated as the presence of life.

What is character in the Novel? A character is resonance of the human soul. Character is the intimate revelation of autobiography— events which the writer refuses to admit or speak out in day to day life. Character also implies the feelings, emotions and expressions of the self and other people.

As I am writing the novel—I am exploring the self as an existential being to a becoming. I have started to grow with life’s experience.

Today I stumbled on a New Idiom: Nazareth, the place which Jesus lived. As an idiomatic expression Nazareth means a holy place. I will be going to Nazareth for worship.

I am amazed at the fact that Jesus spent a long time in Prayer. I am asking God Jehovah Jesus to cure me from all afflictions.

My wife is shy and does not show her nude body in light. But today she got bolder and showed me her nude erotic body. We made sweet love as musical poems.

Today I am again going to write about Lexical Polygamy a figurative device, a hermeneutic tool. Lexical Polygamy is appropriation of words in a text without searching for contextual meanings. It is said in the Gospel of Mathew: Your Yes on Earth will be a Yes in Heaven.

Journal March 19th 2019

I woke up with a strange dream; I dreamed of my grandparents and my school life. I had no luck with windfalls. I was able to publish a book of fiction called the Coven of Tales. I am feeling sad that I am getting few likes in Word Press. Writing is my passion and I will continue doing it. My writing is novel in form and an art in structure. What do I incorporate in my writing? I do add autobiographical nuances; I epiphanize trivial incidents; I play with the philosophy of language. Occasionally I write new Idioms and I pay with tropes. Today was a slow day and I did not have to take classes as the children were having their exams. How do I battle the ill of storm; I sway over it with a calm wind. I have started reading the book—A Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I am reading the life of the Buendia family. I wonder why these novels attain so much acclaim. It won the Nobel Prize for Literature. The Nobel Prize for Literature is very writer’s dream. By writing I travel to exotic places, make love to many women in my imagination, and also taste many cuisines. I am in joy with writing. The time is evening now. The robes in sky are shining a pale orange ecstasy. I have to kick the habit of smoking. I need God’s help to do it. I have made a prayer request of all what I want to accomplish this year 2019. It says in the Bible: ‘Ask and you shall receive: Seek and you shall find: Knock and the door will be opened’.