I had not been writing my daily blog for sometime as I was procrastinating. The reasons were, I was not rich in thoughts. I have to get back to the habit of reading books. My troubled thoughts gallop like a horse. My mind is a whirlwind of rainbow of colors. How to syncretize the rich experience of life is a moot question. I feel like smoking grass but it is hardly available. I am tired of gulping Kerala’s proletarian rum called Karl Marx. I am trying to find ways to quit smoking but I can’t. I am being in want for the erotic passion of the body. Life is the simulacrum of chance and luck. How I wish to win a jackpot. Yes, I will! I call the process of winning the jackpot as BONANZOPIA.
Waking up Lazarus
While reading the New Testament I stumbled upon on this idiom. When Lazarus died and Mary and Martha his sisters were weeping, Jesus came to the place only after three days. But when Jesus came, he went to the grave of Lazarus and miraculously brought him back to life. Waking up Lazarus as in Idiom means good and fortunate things happening in one’s life. Yes, I want to experience waking up Lazarus.
Rain an Epiphany
Crystals poured from the sky. Thunder was a deafening roar. The clouds were belly bloated. Pink Clothes streaked across the sky. Metaphors lay as puddles on the ground. The earth smelled sweet as a baby’s hair.
I got a letter from a family situated in UAE wanting a tutor of English for their child. They introduced themselves as people of French nationality. Later on I sent my resume to them. Then I had a call from UAE from a person with an Arabic accent speaking English asking me to sign the offer letter. When I opened my mail, to my chagrin they asked me service charges for my visa and tickets. And then I realized it was a hoax. It’s strange that Arabs are also involved as scammers.
Maurice Blanchot is a French philosopher and novelist. He equates the philosophy of Death to writing. What is death in writing is not clear? Every word I strike with the pen is a body being lowered into its grave. Every thought added becomes a resurrection. Another interesting thought of his is a flower in literature has meanings other then what the flower signifies. An example would: I did poetry to her and made her a flower of meanings.
I had a dream of wearing my own shoes. The dream dictionary symbolizes it as a start of a new beginning. It could also mean traveling. ‘Oh’, how I much I dream of traveling to exotic places like Bali. I hope I can be lucky to be blessed this 2020 by God Jehovah Jesus.
Jericho is the land to be possessed by the Israelites after their sojourn in the Wilderness of 40 long years. It was occupied by another group of people who were enemies of Israel. God told the people of Israel to walk around the walls of Jericho seven times and they did and the walls fell down. As an Idiom, the Walls of Jericho is good luck and fortune after a long period of trials and tribulations. Lord Jehovah Jesus: place make this year 2020 a Wall of Jericho for me.
Rahab the Harlot
Israel sent two spies to Jericho to learn about their fortification. The whore Rahab hid them in her house and later let them down on a rope from the Wall of Jericho. Rahab as an Idiom means being a friend to someone who is an enemy. The Iranian Nuclear scientist was a Rahab for Israel.
Pulp fiction is mass adored fiction. But writing pulp fiction is not an easy one. One may have to do a lot of research or one may have to read up history and one may have to visit art galleries and museums. All pulp fictions are who-done-it stories. Pulp fictions provide the reader with entertainment.
Roland Barthes has said there are two kinds of fictions: one a writerly one and the other a readerly one. A writerly fiction is the one over which the reader constructs dialogues. It can be done through analysis and reviews.
The author of Literary Fiction is an artist-novelist. Literary fiction is a pure work of art. It is like a surreal or cubist painting. Literary fiction is meta-fiction where the author alludes to the self. In other words: the author is self-reflexive. The author weaves the pen through a mass of inter-textuality. One author becomes many fictional selves. Literary fiction is creative, adventurist and futuristic. Literary fiction can have legends within legends.
I took a job as an English and Social Studies teacher in a very prominent school in Jakarta during the years 2005-2007. Moving from a village to a bustling city gave me the experience of something new as lights, colors, smells and sounds. I had to become a thorough bred professional. Slowly as time went by I started doing my profession excellently well. Jakarta had many maids and I engaged a maid to sleep in flat to do the cooking and washing of clothes. The lady teachers there strictly warned me not to sleep with maids as this would lead to gossip and reach the headmaster’s ears. Though I wanted to sleep with a maid, I avoided it. My predecessor in the school lost his job because he slept with maids and gallivanted with them. So I took all precautions to avoid it. There in the school, I was introduced to drinking as the school gave lavish parties during festival seasons. Slowly I started drinking every day. One day during a party: I drank a lot and started weeping. Then the Principal came over and hugged me and said ‘son don’t worry’. I felt so grateful to him for that. Jakarta has a fair collection of malls and it is fun to be in them. Time flies so fast. Indonesian cuisine is unique with a dish of rice, chicken and duck curry. There is also sambal a paste made by grinding shallot and chilies. The grilled fish of Indonesia is a sheer delicacy. Night life of Indonesia is so vivid. One can see prostitutes standing on both sides of street waiting to be picked up. Cars slow down; doors are opened and this continues still the streets become empty. Sometimes I regret the fact that I did not sleep with prostitutes. I was all full of Christian virtue. Another thing I would like to mention is that when I came back from school, someone has slipped a notice through the underside of the door and it reads: ‘massages available at budget costs’. At that time I did not understand that in meant it was a professional calling for you-know-other-things. I feel sad that I did not visit the beautiful island Bali. I would like to say that though Indonesia is a Muslim country, it is very liberal and permissive.
Stephen Deed Locust is an imaginary name coined from Joycean Ulyssean character Stephen Daedalus
Dawn dawned –the sky all rosy-pink. Night hung in my body as yesterday’s hangover. I drink a low cost budget rum called Karl Marx. It’s a drink of the proletariat. A cracked mirror reminded me of a fable from ancient Greece. I had two glasses of black coffee. I watched the mist hovering over the earth like a helicopter. Birds are chanting hymns. The sky turned into a goblin and the feast of the monsoon as rain started. I remember how in my younger days I used to float paper boats. A witch came home to give milk. Her cheeks are wrinkled due to old age. Now I am having breakfast with cereals and fresh milk. Soon I hurry to school where I am teaching.
How much I try to generate in students the love of literature. The lesson was an extract from the Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. France is all feverish with the proletariat echoing the sounds of revolution. I asked the kids: ‘what is revolution?’ I got no answer. I replied to them: ‘a revolution is a major change occurring in a society. Revolution can be political and are also brought about by changes in Science.’ I gave them a briefing about the industrial revolution that occurred in England and the French Revolution that occurred in France.
The Bell rings for break. I hear the rushing of feet, an urgent scampering to go outside.
I wonder whether I am satisfied with a teaching job. ‘I am not’. I long to be a global vagabond with unsettled roots –a pilgrim of cultures. I want to visit many countries; I also want to visit the famous art galleries of the world. I want to do all this to awaken the aesthete within me.
The school bell rings and all the kids rush out. It’s an amazing psychological fact that when kids enter school, they are slow and when they leave school, it’s always in a hurry.
I reach home tired. Again I have a few cups of black coffee. I open Whatsapp to see if there are messages for me. There is nothing, and I feel disappointed.
I watch the sunset with the aroma of a poet. The colors of the sky are a dazzling fiesta. The sun is a globe glowing red. I watch the flight on tiny wings. Slowly the sun sets and the sky becomes a dark veil. Stars, the tiny buttons glimmer in the sky with radiance of hope and love. I want to rest but I am reminded of Frost’s Words: ‘the woods are lovely dark and deep but I have many miles to go before I sleep.’
Oh Lord Jehovah Jesus let this year be a harvest of green. The clouds lay like a beer belly. Morning woke up in streams of consciousness. Lights of the sky shattered in sound. Zeus rode his motorcycle in the sky. Sometimes words are forgotten as an evanescent dream. The woman symbolizes a valley and man symbolizes a hill. When will flowers blossom in my garden? The brook of the body is fond of making the poetry of love. She was a tender gazelle, a soul with a romantic heart. The Lord Jehovah Jesus said: I will give you the heaven’s dew and the earth’s bounty. I overflowed my spring in her tender orifice. Salvation you are the cross that was hung. Being is a totem of consciousness. Patience is a deaf ear. Dear Lord: ‘don’t remember my inequities and padlock me with curses. Beauty is a flowing river. Consciousness you’re the firmament of the mind. I long to live with a poetic heart. God is rich in mercy and abundant in love and passionate in grace to those who follow him. I have to live a life in extreme subjectivity with a mytho-poetic heart. I can’t forget the scars that have wounded my life. Feelings, they bellow like volcanoes. A dream is the most beautiful thing you can have in life. I hope all my dreams become poems of being achieved. Beauty, you are nobility of the soul. Life is not Camus: ‘Myth of the Sisyphus’…purposeless and burdensome; life with Christ is: in being with the heaven’s splendor and the earth’s well being. Time, you are river, and ode to joy. Loved ones of the family are like green grass that brings in a lot of joy. Forget the past, live the present in joy and anticipate the future with greater joy. The foundation of life is a realization that you are precious in God’s sight and not negation as spoken my existential philosophies. Life is God’s gift and living is the grace and mercy given by God. God is there to provide a cornucopia and there is no need to worry about life. Let your life be magic wand of passion. Literature is a passionate overflow of feeling, a surreal canvas, and a cubist art an incongruity between subjectivity and reality. Time is temporal as a bird in flight and time is eternal as the creator’s universe. Live on hope’s gates and then everything would be fine. The height of achievement should be an eagle strutting across the sky in highflying. If someone lets you down don’t get flurried: tame your ego to live with life’s inconstancies. Prejudice is the weakness of a shallow ego. Life has to swim with ups and downs. Don’t fight with guilt; release it as a bird in flight. Ego—you have to tame the beast within you. You can be repentant to the father just like the prodigal son. The soul is a depth of feeling. Poetry of life is the joy of existential living. Memory brings in all sorrows of the past ….ease them out of your mind just like conjuror doing a trick. Live life to the fullest ….as God has said in the psalms 23: ‘my cup overflows; surely goodness and mercy will follow my life and I will dwell in the house of the lord for ever’
This happened to me when I was in the 10th standard. There was girl in the nearby girl school to whom I became emotionally attached. Every morning and evening I used to rush from my school to see her go. I did not have the courage to tell her that I love her. After finishing school we parted our ways and I know nothing of what happened to her.
Rain an Epiphany
Thunder growled ferociously like an angry dog. Pink flowers lit up the sky. The sky started chanting hymns. Rain is now pouring a cuisine of delicacy. The sky is serenading the earth in sheer ecstasy. Nature is an art of rhythmic music. Cymbals are clanging; base drum is pounding; tom toms are echoing the music of beauty.
He is reverend Sam. One day we went to visit him to tell him that our son was autistic. He happened to be qualified behavioral psychologist. In our next meeting he started taking classes on behavioral psychology. It was all Greek to us. He did not provide any solutions to our son’s problem. We were in demand for something practical and not something that was theoretical.
The Advocate’s room
I went to the advocate’s room to register a land deed. On his table were some curious mementos. One was an emblem of India, a pillar with four lions which was King Asoka’s emblem, his signage Close to that was a tiny grotto and standing on it was Mary and the son Jesus. On the wall was a Palm Sunday leaf with the sign of the cross.
Rain an Epiphany
The clouds are bloated and grey; rain is pouring now, a melancholic hymn; thunder bellows now a bell-canto voice; pink streaks across the sky as a poem of art; rain is a loud muse pouring pitter patter on the roof; it is a pulchritude to hear the rhythm and melody of the rain.
Serpent on a Flagpole
Serpent on a Flagpole is taken from the Old Testament. The Israelites in their sojourn in the wilderness became whiners and grumblers. God became displeased with them and send down serpents to exterminate them. They pleaded with Moses to rescue them. Moses held concordance with God and God asked him to put a serpent carved out of metal on a flagpole and whoever looks at it will be saved. The Serpent on a Flagpole as an Idiom means solving a problem using an apt solution. Will the Corona Virus have a Serpent on a Flagpole? The pancreatic cancer that he had became a serpent on a flagpole.
Balaam’s Ass is an Old Testament story. Balaam had the power to curse or bless, a gift ordained by God. Balaam was asked by the enemies of Israel to curse them. As he was riding on his donkey, the donkey saw an angel blocking the way and it veered off into a ditch. Balaam began to beat in without any mercy. God spoke through the donkey: ‘I have been faithful to you all these years and yet you persecute me’. Balaam realized his mistake and asked God for forgiveness. Balaam’s Ass as an idiom means being accused of a problem that one did not create or it means making a scapegoat of someone. In my professional career I have for no faults of mine became a Balaam’s Ass. I became a Balaam’s Ass when my lover rejected me.