Autobiographical Musings

I must thank the God All mighty for giving me new thoughts on the art of writing fiction. Ever since 2013 I was searching the right methodology of fiction. Yes, God has said give time for your soul to grow. Yes, the seed which God planted in me has become a ripe fruit of harvest. After I started reading the word of God, I have sent my worries crashing down the hill of pestilence. I sit with a joyful heart. I take joy in the little things of life. I meditate on the word of God day and night. God has blessed my sleep. I am no longer dreaming of childhood traumas. Worldly Philosophies have ruined my life leaving me to have confused worldviews. I now have an inner peace in me, a peace of Christ that the world cannot give me. I am lexi-polygamizing words of the Bible. Lexical Polygamy is a new way, a figurative device of interpreting the scripture. The reader soaks in the richness of the word as food and does not take into account the context. In other words: the reader absorbs the words into life. Life is an existential poetry with God Christ. I have removed all the chains of hate and anger I felt with God. I count on the blessings that have been given by God. I have a beautiful wife and two gorgeous children. God gave me an autistic son who is very special to me. I have a lovely daughter who is doing dental science. God today the 23rd of March has revealed the form, content and style of the novel. I have removed all hatred and bitterness that I have felt for my father. I have forgiven him completely. I have also forgiven my friend Mignonette for all the loose, dejecting thoughts that I have written against her. I regret for having called my mom an old hag. I am thankful to God that he provides me for my daily needs.

The day was a swan in incarnation—a whisper of the soul—radiating outer beauty—sweet buns chirped their daily song of beauty—the Sun made love to light by spreading a wondrous panorama—I soaked in nature’s beauty—God is doing a poetic waltz—a decoration of the feast of the sky in rhythms of poetry—sunshine—you happy soul—how you frolic with lifer—my heart is that of a poet—beatitude of colorful wings are dancing on the flowers—beauty is incarnated everywhere—God, yes divine Christ—love me as your son, as your very own—speak to me in your language—love me every day and bless me with love—nature is a gift so ethereal and kind—a love so tranquil—a mystic adoration—a kaleidoscope of the heart of God—a mystic poem—a song of love—a beatitude—an ornament to delight in—a karma of lights sounds and music—how I love solitudinizing nature—nature now leaving a rhythm of beauty—a hymn so kind—a decorated pastry—a wonderful incantation. This is a narrative in streams of consciousness. I admire James Joyce who was a master of it.

My development as a writer started from the buildungsroman that is autobiographical writings ….and then I proceed to become adept in the kunstlerroman, the aesthetic development of a writer. God has given me a new form, content and style. God has become a creative muse for me.
I have reached 49 years of life and it is now only that I have found Christ the savior. I am learning to love writing for him. I have a version of the Bible called the Message a bible written with allusions and idioms. I love reading it very much. Every day I get new inspirations when I read the Bible. I have started reading with Gospel of ST Mathew. Jesus has taught me the power of words and has told me to use words with caution. Yes words are things and by using them we bring our reality to existence.

It is blog writing that has helped me to evolve my writing. After reading God’s word the thoughts that are coming to me are immense.
What is the soul? It’s a wonder creation by God –a created star of beauty. I am so happy that God has promised me his riches in heaven. I look forward to eternity and living a life with Christ. I am happier in writing the creative words than typing on the keyboard as I am able to focus my thoughts very carefully.

We have to be sensitive to our souls—be happy with our hearts—and be contented with our bodies. God Christ I am so sorry for the sins I have committed in the past. Wash it all away like white snow. Make me a new person with a new body and soul. Dwell in me. Enrich my thoughts with the finesse of language.
Yes God I love you with all my heart and soul. I marvel at the way you overcame Satan’s temptation. You did love mankind that you have given your precious body and blood as an altar for redeeming mankind from sin. You are the true messiah that incarnated. The WORD in you became flesh and blood. I think of the marvelous way you confronted the prostitute and repentant thief. The prostitute washed your feet with luxurious perfume found in the land and the thief on the cross begged for forgiveness. Christianity became a way of life, a celebration with them. We should emulate the life of these saints.
Lord far from the negation of life and treatment of life as the chaotic and the absurd, in you Christ I have found that life is valuable. I follow life as purposeist. Life is valublelization of our souls and bodies. Yes Lord there’s a meaning and purpose in our life. Life of a purposeist lies in valuablelization. This existentialism post modernized.

I have also begun to think of the existentiallization of art? At an existential level art is music with three states called as ecstasy, angst and catharsis. Art in its highest form is praising you and that is ecstasy. The art of making love is catharsis. Bereavement of loved one can be called as angst. The other forms of are art cognition and interpretation. It is the art of making realized meaning. Making love as art is a form of poetic music.

Sometimes in our daily walk of life we forget to appreciate the beautiful, simple things of life. We become clouded by the vanity of our desires. The simple things of life: like watching a new born flower, enjoying the puddles of water that seeps in as rain, watching butterflies dance in the wind, watching lilies and roses sway in the wind, all these are nature’s precious gifts. Yes, we have to celebrate life with nature. Nature is a poem to be sung an art to live. We have to beautify living. Keeping a blog and recording our thoughts is a good thing. We must not be overcome by passionate temptations.

Today I spent all the day thinking, meditating and writing. Today was a meaningful day in my life. I was able to interpret the parables of Jesus, coin new idioms, play with language, and coin new figures of speech. I am able to balance life and language. I am able to harmonize my fictional self with my real self. I feel so happy and contented. From the desert I have traveled to the poetry of an oasis of hope. Literature is my life and I am happy with it.
Lord Jesus I want to travel all over the world and write and travelogues. I don’t have the means for it. This I put to you as a humble prayer. Give me plenty of opportunities to visit strange and exotic places. Help me write all my life. I put this request to you in humble prayer.
Lord I feel sorry for the people who idolize Christianity. I know that true Christianity is not found in idolatry. Lord I feel that we should Christianize Catholicism. I feel sorry for the sheer blasphemy of these people. It is said in the scripture that worship no graven image of any likeness found on the earth or in the sea. Lord let not people make a mockery of religion. It is said in Scripture that you must worship that Lord God Jesus with all your heart and your soul.

For me, I was thinking for a long time to move away from home and my wife and to stay independently. I have learnt to love my wife and the Lord has removed all my desires of wanting a home. Lord it’s my desire to paint and tile the school and also to buy a new vehicle and also to give the teachers a bonus. Lord I hope that you will hear my humble prayer requests. Lord let my pen become a slave for you and flower it to me with love. Christ has said whatever you yes on earth will be a yes in heaven. Lord I am happy that I have started writing for you. I am filled with so much love and so much gratitude. Lord give me the grace to love my wife and my children. Help me not to fall into the snare of the Devil Amen.

March 22 2019

I woke at 7:30 AM. I gave praises and adoration to God Jesus. Morn’s sweet breeze kissed my cheeks. Jewels flew across the sky. I have started reading the Gospel of Mathew.

I am engrossed in the Novel of Writing. I am thankful to God for many blessings given.

I have come to love my wife. She is a precious pearl of love and guitar of eroticism.

I was able to get a small prize at yesterday’s windfall.

A tarring machine on the road is cackling.

In the Gospel of Mathew it says: ‘yes on earth will be a yes in heaven’. I became wonderstruck with these words and I have applied them to my life.

Through writing I develop the content of the Novel. Experience is the biggest teacher. The novel which I write belongs to the genre of Kunstlerroman, a novel which describes the aesthetic development of the writer. I melody tropes and tropes are Picasso’s paint brush—tropes are a music of words in impressionism. Trivial incidents of life are made into epiphanies. Epiphanies are the soul of words. Let me use an epiphany here to highlight my point. Brook of beauty running through, gurgling moksha all the way through—swaying pebbles glistening karmic odes— samsara meanders pilgrimage blues. The movement of the brook is made into a rendition of metaphysics. Moksha is the Sanskrit word for salvation. The moving pebbles in the brook are identified with Karma. Samsara refers to the cycle of birth and rebirth. For me Samsara is the life living on earth.

I would also like to comments on time in the Novel. There are two different types of time—Inner time or dialogic time and narrative time or symbolic time. Inner time is a reflection of the consciousness of the writer. This can be done by the use of streams of consciousness. The symbolic time or narrative time is the time where a character lives, a time capitulated as the presence of life.

What is character in the Novel? A character is resonance of the human soul. Character is the intimate revelation of autobiography— events which the writer refuses to admit or speak out in day to day life. Character also implies the feelings, emotions and expressions of the self and other people.

As I am writing the novel—I am exploring the self as an existential being to a becoming. I have started to grow with life’s experience.

Today I stumbled on a New Idiom: Nazareth, the place which Jesus lived. As an idiomatic expression Nazareth means a holy place. I will be going to Nazareth for worship.

I am amazed at the fact that Jesus spent a long time in Prayer. I am asking God Jehovah Jesus to cure me from all afflictions.

My wife is shy and does not show her nude body in light. But today she got bolder and showed me her nude erotic body. We made sweet love as musical poems.

Today I am again going to write about Lexical Polygamy a figurative device, a hermeneutic tool. Lexical Polygamy is appropriation of words in a text without searching for contextual meanings. It is said in the Gospel of Mathew: Your Yes on Earth will be a Yes in Heaven.

Lexical Polygamy

I bring this new term again and I hope in future it will be considered as literary device. Lexical Polygamy is the literal absorption of the meaning of a text (claiming the meaning) by not taking into account the contextual significance. For example in the Bible in Psalms it says: ‘I the Lord will give you the nations as a present and the continents as a gift’. What a marvelous verse and I have written it in my purse and I keep reading it every day.

Lexical Polygamy

Lexical Polygamy is: rather than searching for contextual meaning of the text: you have to appropriate the meaning of the text into your own life. For me, I have done a lexical polygamy of three verses from the Bible. They are: ‘ask and it shall be received: seek and you shall find: knock and the door shall be opened. Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. The Lord God has said: I will give you (Anand) the treasures of darkness: the riches hidden in secret places so that you (Anand) will know that I am the God of Israel who has called you by your name’. Lexical Polygamy is a mantra: a positive spell to step into a positive frame of mind.