Masonic and Illuminati symbolism has fascinated me….yes, the all Seeing Eye and the Unfinished Pyramid. My asemic signature has evolved through time….I have engulfed it with the Christian esotericism ….Yes, Christ is more valuable than the secret societies. In my signature, there’s the Alpha and the Omega ….the verse in the Bible which says: ‘I am the beginning and the end’ There’s also the cross which means take up the cross and follow me. There’s also the sign of the fish …..again used symbolically for Christians of the early church…Yes, truth is stranger than fiction.
August 5th 2019
Today was a day of feeling of being doped and dragged down. I had to take the children to play badminton as the PE of our school was sick. It was an interschool contest. When we went register the students, lo to our surprise, we were asked to present their birth certificates. I had a tough time phoning the school and asking the principal there to email it to the host school. The PE of our school did not coach the children at all and to make matters worse the children were not aware of the rules. Though we lost, we lost by a narrow margin. It was a boring day for me. I could not smoke also I am became at ease after dropping the children at their homes.
There is a strange custom here in Kerala. Many Hindus hang idols of their Gods along that of Jesus and Mary and send decorative lights all over the idol. Is Jesus and Mary an idol? Isn’t the idolatry inherent in Catholicism a diabolic hocus-pocus? I would call this as an idiom meaning Confused. I am confused means accepting Hindu and Christian beliefs at the same time. The shop keeper is confused.
What to writer now? I have written all of a day’s happening. Writing is a fluidic meaning of recollecting and mentally positing experiences. It’s good to recall thoughts? Thoughts are symptoms of a pathological narcissism. The muse dies in painful agony with every word. The muse then resurrects with a new thoughts. Sad to say, that the muse is very sporadic. The desire to write is found deep within. It stems from a flow of eclectic thought. Words bounce like bouncer. It’s a wonder as to how words get recalled from stored memory. Writing is the knack for the uncanny. Writing is a staggering effort in streams of consciousness. There is no fixed time for writing. Writing is always in the process of renewal. Writing is like the four seasons: summer, spring, autumn and winter. Writing is an enigmatic artifact. A writer succumbs to the poetry of prose. Writing is a stoic ornament. Writing is battle for the writer and catharsis for the reader. I would love to adorn the gift of writing. Writing is a indwelling of catharsis and angst. Writing is the soul of nature. Writing is the poetry of hope. Writing nourished the soul to a new well of becoming. The reasons to write are many. Writing is a fugitive disguising words in veils of poetry. Writing anchors the body to an epiphany of ecstasy. Writing is tool of the optimist to forecast a bright future. Writing is an awakening of hope. Sometimes writing is a black rose of death. The fiery zeal of the writer is autonomous to celestial designs. Writing is the passion of poetry. Writing is the breath of living in literature. Writing catapults the soul to dizzy raptures with the divine chorus of heavenly rhythms.
Today was a hectic day and I traveled to a place which is 200 Kilometers away to bring my autistic son from a heal autistic school. The good thing that happened to him was he had learnt to cycle effortlessly. He was having problems coordinating his left and right hemisphere.
We were traveling through the Vembanad Kayal (backwaters) the most beautiful place in Kerala. The Kayal is rich in the proliferation of birds. It is said that the Siberian Crane visits here during winter and then flies all the way to Siberia. The Kayal is scenic and beautiful for foreigners. We can rent houseboats and explore all of the Kayal. Hordes of ducks float in the water like a drunk who is tipsy. I don’t have the cash to rent a boat but one day I hope I can. The Vembanad Kayal is a paradise on earth.
I am wondering philosophically why Freud fragmented the brain into three monsters—the ID, the Ego and the super Ego. Are we not wholesome beings created by God. If we have to follow the Freudian view we have to balance the ID with Ego and the Superego. And that balance is by no means simple. Why should be complicate life? We think with minds that are whole. Is life a libidinal psyche of the Oedipal complex? Freud was madly obsessed with the sexual drives. How can a child associate himself with loving his mother and hating his mother? Emotional bonding and giving love, care and affection is the most possible human view which develops to a well grounded personality.
I would also like to introduce Derrida’s binary divide. Binary is a term in which texts divide and marginalize people. For example White is privileged over black and colored. A Derridian reading of a text is uncover marginalization which occurs in texts. Here I would like to introduce a new term called Binary Fusions. Binary fusions remove barriers of prejudice and promote to the democracy of reading texts. I would like to use an example from the Bible: God hates the sin but loves the sinner. He—Christ was mocked, taunted and crucified for giving me a passage to heaven. Jazz is the heart of a poem, an allegory for the synthesis of black culture and universal in popularity. Mind and body should be syncretized into mature harmony.
Here I am speaking about the mind of Asians, especially South East Asians. They are prejudiced and in international schools only whites from the old English Speaking Countries are welcome to teach English. I am Indian and I feel pathetic when I read the advertisements: ‘Wanted Only Native Teachers from UK USA CANADA NEW ZEALAND to teach English.’ This puts me off. As an Indian I would like to say: that it is 50 years since India has been colonized and Indians speak English with a neutral accent. I am also educationally qualified with a Master of Philosophy in English Literature. I don’t understand why South East Asians are denying me a job because of my color and the fact that I am an Indian. India has produced many talented writers like Tagore the Nobel Laureate and Salman Rushdie and Arundathi Roy who have won the Booker prize for literature. Yes South East Asians are language chauvinists,
From the Bible
Camel to go through the Eye of a Needle
When Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and the Sadducees he made a caustic remark that it is easier for a Camel to go through the Eye of Needle than for you to go to heaven. Camel to go through the eye of a needle is a virtually impossible task to achieve. For me to become the President of America is like a Camel entering through the eye of a needle.
From the Fish Mouth
When Jesus was questioned about paying the temple tax, he replied to his disciple Peter to get a coin which was wedged in the fish mouth. And Jesus famously told: Give unto Caesar what is his and give unto me what is mine. From the Fish Mouth as an idiom means getting a financial blessing from God. Yes God let me get a bounty from the fish mouth.
From the Bible
I am fond of these verses: they are: ‘My Yoke is wholesome and my burden light. A bruised reed he will not break: a smoldering wick he will not quench. I will cause you to rest’.
Idioms from the Bible
Daughter of Herodias
King Herod committed adultery with Herodias his brother’s wife and John the Baptist condemned it. Herodias daughter danced before the king and got him drunk and he in drunken stupor said whatever she wants will be granted. She asked for the head of John the Baptist to be beheaded. Herodias daughter as an idiom means a wicked, treacherous and immoral woman, woman with no principles. There are many Herodias daughters in today’s society.
Lord of the Sabbath
When Jesus the Rabbi was questioned by the Pharisees on why he was not observing the Sabbath: he replied to them: I am the Lord of the Sabbath. Lord of the Sabbath as an idiom means sovereignty of the LORD. Yes, Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath.
Five Loaves and Two Fish
Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. As an idiom 5 loaves and 2 fish is a blessing of prosperity gin by God. Oh God Jehovah Jesus: Let me days be filled with 5 loaves and two fish.
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit
Jesus said: all sins will be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a despicable and condemnable act.
David eating bread from the Temple
When Jesus was questioned by the Sadducees why he was not observing the Sabbath, he said, even king David ate the offering (bread) kept for priests from the Temple. David Eating from the Temple as an idiom means being sagacious. We should be David Eating from the Temple.
The people of Nineveh were wicked but when Jonah preached to them: they repented. As an idiom Nineveh means repentance. My relationship with Christ is one of Nineveh.
Today the clouds were angry, wet and sullen ….Day remained austere …clouds were pouring sentimental poems.
Lots of thoughts are crowding mind all fragmented. It is not my real self that is writing but a fictional self. What is the fictional self? Politically speaking, it’s the voice of post-colonial literature. Culturally speaking it embraces the liberal theology of Christianity and the moorings of occidental culture. Autobiographically speaking, it is a fragmented self with its desire to live in Bali, the enchanting island of Indonesia. The self is a fictional bard of sharing romance and passion. The fictional self tries to interpret Biblical Literature. The fictional self is fond of the clove cigarettes of Indonesia. It is also fond of roast duck (bebek), sambal (a mixture of lime, shallot and chilies) and grilled fish (ikan). The fictional love is fond of giving love and sharing love. It’s an escapist fanatic filled with wanderlust for places. Yes, the sights, smells and colors of exotic places like Bali fascinate the self. The fictional self is the mirror of existence. It is a passion of the soul, a delicacy recipe. Time moves in a dream as a slow wandering pace. I am fond of Jazz, Gospel and rock music. Time is flowing in the art of streams of consciousness. Yes, the writer James Joyce was a master of it. The writer Salman Rushdie transforms historical events into fiction into an ambiguous fictional language. I am a writer passionately seeking the art of transforming fiction into and epitome of pure art. Words dance colors, play music of sounds, and be a recipe of smells. Writing is a curious and enigmatic process of inter-textuality. Writing makes cultures into the exotic. Words are muses playing with fire. Words are mermaids singing in the ocean depths. Words are bards wandering across the earth. Words are the romance of the earth. Words are the halo of angels singing. Autobiography is the mirror of existence. Passion flows as river from the passionate pen.