Clue Crooks Clan

Clue Crooks Clan is a secret society wanting to take over the world and world economy. Every year the members of the cult have a secret rendezvous at a resort named Lake Wood.

They worship a stone made into a phallic pillar with an embedded on a vagina. They also worship an owl (Minerva) as a sign of wisdom. Sometimes they have séances to bring froth dead spirits.

Prof. Umberto Ego says: ‘what’s the secret of the number 666 as mentioned in the Biblical Book of Revelation? 666 stands for the added sum of 18 nations, probably an alliance of nations for global dominance.’

Dawn Shakespeare the financial think-tank of the Clue Crooks Clan while delivering a seminar mentions: ‘Our aim is to create a one-world-order based on a single currency. We are proceeding with Dollarization of all countries. The currency would be called 666 with the logo: number of the beast’.

Prof. Umberto Ego: ‘We have to demilitarize all nations except ours in the fraternity of alliance 18. If nations don’t comply, we will impose sanctions.’

Now the members of the Clue Crooks Clan have an occult ceremony. A virgin named Virginia Wolf is placed on the altar and she is nude. Prof. Umberto Ego takes a sword and draws it three times on her vagina as a sign of trinity in hell.
After the ritual they retire to bed. The bed becomes an orgy of people having same and different partners. They are unable to realize their shame as they are doped and drunk.

The members of the cult are perverse people who act against the will of God Jehovah Jesus.

Dusk an Epiphany

The sun seen on the horizon was orange-red; the sun resembled an eye; colors started spilling over; orange, red and pink glowed in loving passion. The sky was a peace of prose. Eloquent angels danced in the sky. There in the sky, I saw a mermaid, then I saw a fire belching dragon; then again I saw a gigantic salamander; the sky became a poem of efflorescence.

Animal Farm

Long ago there lived on Animal Farm a boar named Know-it-all. One day on his death-bed he told his dream to all the animals.

The boar named Know it all said: ‘Humans have been using us for their selfishness. We have to rebel and become a super power.’
There after he closed his eyes.

A boar named capitalism engaged all the animals and conducted a coup to throw the humans out.

At last they cried in Unison: ‘we are free; we are free;’
Another boar named Myth said to all the animals: ‘since we gave you the idea of throwing out the humans, we are taking power over Animal Nation. Amongst all the produce in the farm, half of it will go to us since we are rulers. We are creating a society where there will be equal opportunities for all and where everyone can have the dream of climbing the ladder of success.’
Chuckles the stallion replied: ‘This idea is interesting. I am loyal to the animal nation and I will work hard to bring it to success.’

Flip and Flop the hens grumbled and said: ‘your theory is so unjust and it generates inequality’.

Immediately Muscles the German shepherd pounced on them and gobbled them up.

The Sheep named Anglo-Saxon said: ‘are you entering into a treaty with neighboring nations called BREX.’?

The boar named capitalism said: we have to secure our interests and animal nation will not have its affiliation with anyone else’.

Then Chuckles the stallion asked: ‘What if the humans attack us out of spite?’
The boar named Capitalism said: ‘we have to make an arsenal of nukes. It’s up to you to do it.’

The Jackal named Crook said: ‘I have mastered the art of destabilizing nations with the art of biological warfare. I have unleashed a virus named Corona which will cause death and disease all over the world.

The Boar Named Capitalism said: ‘I must applaud you for it. Our revolution is spreading to neighboring farms like wildfire. Yes we hear: down with communism and up with capitalism.’

Peanut the hen delivered babies and Marigold the hen started laying eggs.
The boar named Capitalism and Myth took a larger percent of all that the farm produced.

Chuckles the stallion said: ‘The society that has been created is an unjust one’.

All day long chuckles worked in the farm. He used to plough the fields and harvest the corn. When the harvesting was done, a large portion of the grain was taken over greedily by the boars Capitalism and Myth.

A prophet Raven named Solidarity visited the farm and said: ‘we could create a just society where there social justice and economic equality. Why do we have to make capitalism so abominable?’

The boar named Myth took a gun and shot the prophet Raven since he was doing espionage and subverting the ideology of Animal Nation.

The Boar named Capitalism spoke to all the animals and birds in the farm: ‘we are adherents of a capitalist society where individuals are rewarded for the quality of their work. We autocrats will get a major share and others a stifling minor share. Any mutiny by you folks will be severely put down.’

As time passed by, the humans rose up in revolt and sent an ICBMS Intercontinental Ballistic Missile to Animal Nation. The Animal Nation
recharged and sent a missile Cruise to smash the missile launched by the humans.

As time passed by, Chuckles became and sickly and could hardly walk.
The boars named Capitalism and Myth ordered a vehicle for Chuckles to be taken to the hospital.
Little did the animals know that Chuckles was taken to the butchery.

Tropes/ Figures of Speech

Oh Lord Jehovah Jesus let this year be a harvest of green. The clouds lay like a beer belly. Morning woke up in streams of consciousness. Lights of the sky shattered in sound. Zeus rode his motorcycle in the sky. Sometimes words are forgotten as an evanescent dream. The woman symbolizes a valley and man symbolizes a hill. When will flowers blossom in my garden? The brook of the body is fond of making the poetry of love. She was a tender gazelle, a soul with a romantic heart. The Lord Jehovah Jesus said: I will give you the heaven’s dew and the earth’s bounty. I overflowed my spring in her tender orifice. Salvation you are the cross that was hung. Being is a totem of consciousness. Patience is a deaf ear. Dear Lord: ‘don’t remember my inequities and padlock me with curses. Beauty is a flowing river. Consciousness you’re the firmament of the mind. I long to live with a poetic heart. God is rich in mercy and abundant in love and passionate in grace to those who follow him. I have to live a life in extreme subjectivity with a mytho-poetic heart. I can’t forget the scars that have wounded my life. Feelings, they bellow like volcanoes. A dream is the most beautiful thing you can have in life. I hope all my dreams become poems of being achieved. Beauty, you are nobility of the soul. Life is not Camus: ‘Myth of the Sisyphus’…purposeless and burdensome; life with Christ is: in being with the heaven’s splendor and the earth’s well being. Time, you are river, and ode to joy. Loved ones of the family are like green grass that brings in a lot of joy. Forget the past, live the present in joy and anticipate the future with greater joy. The foundation of life is a realization that you are precious in God’s sight and not negation as spoken my existential philosophies. Life is God’s gift and living is the grace and mercy given by God. God is there to provide a cornucopia and there is no need to worry about life. Let your life be magic wand of passion. Literature is a passionate overflow of feeling, a surreal canvas, and a cubist art an incongruity between subjectivity and reality. Time is temporal as a bird in flight and time is eternal as the creator’s universe. Live on hope’s gates and then everything would be fine. The height of achievement should be an eagle strutting across the sky in highflying. If someone lets you down don’t get flurried: tame your ego to live with life’s inconstancies. Prejudice is the weakness of a shallow ego. Life has to swim with ups and downs. Don’t fight with guilt; release it as a bird in flight. Ego—you have to tame the beast within you. You can be repentant to the father just like the prodigal son. The soul is a depth of feeling. Poetry of life is the joy of existential living. Memory brings in all sorrows of the past ….ease them out of your mind just like conjuror doing a trick. Live life to the fullest ….as God has said in the psalms 23: ‘my cup overflows; surely goodness and mercy will follow my life and I will dwell in the house of the lord for ever’

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland is an all too familiar story—a story of fantastic magic realism. Let me add on to her stories. There is a cellar in Alice’ house with a secret passage in it which enables Alice on mystic flight.

One day Alice prized upon this passage and she fell into s strange land of fairies and dwarfs.

They asked her: ‘who are you’.

Alice replied: ‘I am Alice a School Girl’.

Then they said: ‘an important occasion s taking place in our country. We are electing a queen.’

Surprised Alice asked: ‘how’?

They replied: ‘we cast votes and the candidate who gets the least votes is elected’.

The fairy called: ‘You Know Other Things was elected as she got the lowest votes.’

Alice said: ‘This is a strange custom. In, my land it is the majority that gets voted.’

A dwarf replied: ‘It is the minority that is the least corrupt’.

Alice replied: ‘Fair enough, please let me go’.

The fairy cast her wand and lo Alice was transported from the cellar and back into her home.

The next day, Alice went down the cellar and she was transported into a land called Anarchy. King Anarchy Abacus was in rule there.

Alice asked them ‘who are you’?

Anarchy Abacus replied: ‘We are anarchists’.

Alice asked him: ‘What is anarchy’?

Anarchy Abacus replied: ‘Anarchy is as simple as tying our shoelaces. Anarchy is a lot of nonsense in language. Anarchists do not know the purpose and meaning of life. Any letter in our anarchy-language begins with I and ends in I.

Alice: ‘this is all very strange to me; I am going over to my house’.

Next day Alice went down the cellar. She was taken to strange land called: ‘philosophers of being’. King know-it-all greeted Alice warmly.

Alice asked King Know-it-all: ‘Sir what is your philosophy’?

King Know it all replied: ‘Ours is a philosophy of being.’

Alice asked him: ‘What is being?’

King- Know- it- all: ‘See Alice, we are confused about the meaning of being. Sometimes being is being. Sometimes being is non-being to being. Sometimes being is consciousness. Sometimes it is the chemicals triggered in the brain. Sometimes it is the soul.’

Alice: ‘This is even more complicated than the Algebra I learnt in school. Thanks for your revelations. I want to say bye bye now’.

The following day Alice slipped down through the cellar and came to a land of non-violence. She had a meeting with revolutionaries of the land.

Alice asked them: ‘What is the philosophy of non violence?’

A revolutionary named Do-it-right told: ‘we are a country yet to be freed from the yoke of colonial rule. We fight our oppressors with the weapons of truth and non violence. We are so passionate about non-violence that we don’t even hurt a fly.

Alice asked King Do-it-right: ‘When will your land get freedom’?

Do-it-right replied: ‘we are not sure: we are fighting for it.’

Then Alice departed from their land and climbed in cellar to reach her house.
Next day, Alice went down the cellar into another strange country called Mutiny.

The King there Mutiny-Massacre glanced at her with the look of hatred.

Alice asked Mutiny-Massacre: ‘explain to me what Mutiny is.’

King Mutiny-massacre replied: ‘Mutiny is rising against neighboring states and conquering them. Now our strategy is biological warfare.’

Alice asked Mutiny-Massacre: ‘what is biological warfare?’

King Mutiny Massacre replied: ‘We have created a virus called Corona which has spread the entire world and which is causing a great deal of sickness and death. Our plan is to destabilize nations.’

King Mutiny Massacre gave a cold, sarcastic, vicious, laugh.

Alice started Crying and said: ‘please get me out of here.
A fairy named –Do-good-to-all came to her rescue and transported her to the cellar and back to her home.

Assorted Fictions

Childhood Memoir
This happened to me when I was in the 10th standard. There was girl in the nearby girl school to whom I became emotionally attached. Every morning and evening I used to rush from my school to see her go. I did not have the courage to tell her that I love her. After finishing school we parted our ways and I know nothing of what happened to her.

Rain an Epiphany
Thunder growled ferociously like an angry dog. Pink flowers lit up the sky. The sky started chanting hymns. Rain is now pouring a cuisine of delicacy. The sky is serenading the earth in sheer ecstasy. Nature is an art of rhythmic music. Cymbals are clanging; base drum is pounding; tom toms are echoing the music of beauty.

Arabian Nights

Aludhin is the king of the Semites. Aludhin is addicted to storytelling and every night he pressurizes Queen Syrah Libido to tell him a story. Thus began the art of storytelling (Khani).

Once upon a time there was a Nation called Democrazy. Though it was a government of the people, day by day it started becoming a fascist cunt-tree. Its leaders were fond of persecuting people of other faiths. The fascists of that country worshipped idols made of clay, wood and iron. The Cunt-tree is democratically unstable. Chances are likely that the democracy would face a coup de etat.

Aludhin started laughing; it was a mysterious and sarcastic laugh.

Queen Syrah asked: ‘what my highness?’

Aludhin replied: ‘it’s my son AL LIM UL AL JONG who rules over democracy. He is fine and well. The western media simply proclaims a noise Jihad to obliterate him’.

Aludhin said: ‘Darling Princess Syrah Libido, treat me afresh with a new story (Kahani). Princess Libido Syrah: ‘Wait my lord: let me wash your favorite pink panty (the one you like much) with lavender soap.

Princess Syrah: ‘Today’s story is about the Oil Sheik Kutbdin Aybuck. My lord he is gay as well a bisexual.’

Aludin: ‘is it so my sweetie’?

Princess
Libido: ‘He maintains bonhomie with Columbus Skeleton Country.’ The telephone is ringing: ‘Hello I am Bacon the president of Columbus Skeleton Country. I know you are interested in Caucasian studs from our country. I am willing to send them to your country provided you agree to my terms.

Kutubdin Aybuck: ‘What are your terms’?

President Bacon of Columbus Skeleton Country: ‘you have to devalue your currency and let all oil transactions be done in our currency: the fetish’.

Kutubdin Aybuck ‘yes it will be done; send my studs soon’.

Aludhin: ‘That was an interesting story. That Baba Sala is quoting too much for
the stud offer.’

Another night comes in: ‘what story are you telling me?’ Libido Syrah, ‘Darling I am giving you a feast about Persecution Country’.

Queen Libido Syrah: ‘Persecution Country is ruled by a totalitarian regime of : Tsar Arif Khan. Missionary Hans the Evangelist was caught red-handed with a trunk full of Bibles while he was presiding over a function to proselytize people. Today he lies in the market place waiting to be beheaded. Arif Khan wears priestly robes and is chanting holy incantations from the holy book ZALALA. All is followers mutter bizarre incantations and shout to their messenger Queer-Khan. As soon as this was going on, one of the followers takes a sword and cuts the neck of Evangelist Hans.
Aludhin: ‘that was a cruel and horrific story and I feel so repulsive, repugnant about my wish to murder you if you don’t tell me good stories’.
Libido Syrah: ‘My lord Thanks a lot. Have a goodnight’s sleep.

Assorted Drabble

Impractical Priest
He is reverend Sam. One day we went to visit him to tell him that our son was autistic. He happened to be qualified behavioral psychologist. In our next meeting he started taking classes on behavioral psychology. It was all Greek to us. He did not provide any solutions to our son’s problem. We were in demand for something practical and not something that was theoretical.

The Advocate’s room
I went to the advocate’s room to register a land deed. On his table were some curious mementos. One was an emblem of India, a pillar with four lions which was King Asoka’s emblem, his signage Close to that was a tiny grotto and standing on it was Mary and the son Jesus. On the wall was a Palm Sunday leaf with the sign of the cross.

Fictional Narratives

Rain an Epiphany
The canvas is swollen grey. Very soon epiphanies are pouring on the earth. God is pleased with the earth and wets the earth in lyrical etudes. The earth has been a bald head, dry without water. Thanks to heaven’s pleasant gift, the rain of prosperity is gifted to the earth.

King Alexander the Great Poop
King Alexander was a great king of poop. He uses his poop soldiers cast in poop to conquer lands. Each of the poop lands he conquers, he induces them to adopt poop mannerisms and culture. Poop culture and Poop Empire is being recorded in the annals of history. A poop medal is being awarded by the distinguished committee of poop for his poop contributions.

Evening Epiphany
Time is nearing sunset. The colors of the sky are changing to crimson, orange and purple. Colors are mesmerizing fonts of delight. Bards echo joy on celestial wings. Slowly the sun disappears and light is scattered into a fiesta of colors. I watch how the light percolates into the tress and I get feeling of Cathartic happiness. A bird, a sparrow is building its nest on the window sill. I watch in amazement how the tiny joy of love, bring dried leaves, wastepaper and other paraphernalia to build the nest. I am reminded of the saying by Christ: ‘the birds of the air neither sow nor reap and yet the heavenly father takes care of them; then how much more will your heavenly father take care of you’.

Fictional Narratives

Canaan
Canaan is the historic land given to Israelites as an inheritance from God. With the advent of Christ and the New Covenant, Canaan represents eternity with God in Heaven. Canaan as an Idiom means something very religious, holy and spiritual. The Bible is a Canaan, a valuable tool for all times.

Zero
One can count zero backwards or forwards. And when one counts forwards one reaches a positive infinity. When the counting is done backwards one reaches a negative infinity. Zero is hell backwards and heaven forwards. Zero is quite a quirk.

Shit
He has a strange, eccentric habit. Whenever he ventures out, he carries a pan over his head. On being asked why: he replied: ‘I am afraid that airplane poop would fall on my head.’


Kitsch

He is my colleague. One day we were walking towards a shop selling Porsche cars. Animated, he said ‘let’s go inside’. He grabbed my hands and took me inside. The asshole asked the manager whether he could take a photo. He asked me to take a photo of him, leaning on the car as a proud owner. I wonder about his character—a one with a low self esteem wanting to boost his ego with worldly things.


The Hospital

My best friend was admitted in the hospital. I went to pay him a visit. To my dismay the sign on the door was: ‘do not disturb: visitors strictly prohibited’


My Significant Other

Its many years since we have seen each other. There is many a time: that I have written love poems for her. Wanting to see her erotic posture: I asked to her to send me a photo with a towel wrapped around her body. She said bluntly: ‘no’. Let the old hag go to hell.

Elephant Poop
It is lying on the road as brown footballs. It’s quite a show of democratic solidarity.