April 14th 2019

Morn was a bard’s music. Shy colored in harmonious melodies. The brook murmured is soothing melodies.

I have spent my time pondering on the Gospel of Luke. I admire the Marvel of Christ as to how he replied to the Rabbis who accused him of false teaching.

Coffin and Corpse
Coffin and Corpse as an Idiom means, being dead to emotion and reason. Some days I am a Coffin and Corpse.

Lampooning
The Country Mythopia is known for its eccentricity, intolerance and fascism. Elections are round the corner and I am praying that the present government won’t win the elections. The Cow in Mythopia is a sacred Mother. People who eat beef are looked down upon. The states in which Mythopia governs have abolished. Mythopia does not tolerate any other God except its idol, a zoomorphic one (animal and human in form). The Evangelists in Mythopia are paraded naked in the streets. Mythopia has a degrading caste system. Even though it is banned in Mythopia, people still practice it in contemporary life. Elections are round the corner and the present government by hook or crook wants to win the elections. They have hatched a conspiracy. In Mythopia many electronic voting machines don’t work. Many voters have not got their identity cards. Cronies of the Government are rigging the elections and they are booth capturing. The Prime Minister of Mythopia has not completed his graduation and does not know to govern the economy. A blunder he has done is demonetizing the economy. This has led to sliding down of the Rupee. They have also looted the money printed in the central bank of the country. Then there’s a notorious Aircraft deal. Mythopia Okayed this deal and it involves gigantic loss of money in the exchequer. Mythopia is also famous for corporate scams. The corporate Giants YAHOOHE AND WHOHAHA have escaped from the country.

Autobiography
When I was in grade 1 I was sent to boarding school. I had the problem of bed wetting. For this as punishment I was paraded naked around the school. Life was hell for me.

This happened to me when I was in fifth grade. We had classes for art. I used to dislike these classes because I did not have taste for art. We were made to draw a vase with flowers on it. We had to show it at the end of the period to the Master. Just when the bell was about to ring: the master called me. He looked at my painting and frowned and then asked me to turn back and he caned me still the stick broke.

LORD JEHOVAH Jesus: Yes what I Yes on earth: Yes it in heaven for me.

Was Shakespeare a bourgeoisie? To whom were the Shakespearean plays intended? Most of his plays portray Kings and Nobles and deal with themes of courtly love. There is no voice of the Subaltern.

222 Baker Street
Holmes was lying down in his bed and resting. Watson enters and knocks at the door. Holmes replies: ‘enter’. Watson enters with a newspaper in his hand. The headlines are screaming: Bank Robbery: Biggest Heist: 10 Million pounds stolen: Police have no clues about the culprit. ‘This is so strange and puzzling’ says Holmes. Watson replied with a sneer: ‘Shall I start counting the money’.

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Lampooning

Lampooning
Territopia
Territopia is a country booming in oil and all its people are followers of God TUTKEY. Terrorists of the country have besieged the city and taken its rulers captives. The terrorists are psychos and their favorite hobby is to murder evangelists from Liberalopia. Here is a beheading ceremony. While beheading the evangelist, the leader of the country will mount a Bactrian camel and have sex with it. The leader Cashimbinhalalpork says: ‘is the infidel ready to be beheaded? Please give me a ladder to mount the camel Aliflailah.’ The followers chant: ‘Lord Tutkey we offer you praises…..UR UR UR UR UR… May TUTKEY be praised’. The executor hacks the head of the evangelist.

Horroriforia
Horriforia is a onetime democracy that is ruled by a fascist party. For the worshippers, the Cow is a sacred Mother. Though democratically elected, the leaders are very enthusiastic about changing the constitution. Horroriforia is also famous and notorious of the people not following their religion. An evangelist Luke and his children were burnt to death. Some evangelists are paraded naked on the streets. The leader of Horroriforia called Hermes Cult demonetized the economy. He and his cronies ransacked the banks and buccaneered large sums of money. Elections are round the corner and the people have to decide whether they want a fascist government or a liberal democratic one.

Lampooning Dracula

Mr. Wood receives a letter from Transylvania. He reads the letter: ‘I am count Dracula and I want you to come to Transylvania and transport my cargo to London. I will pay your handsomely I also want you to buy me property in London ’. Mr. Wood discusses this with his wife and she encourages him to take up the lucrative deal.

Mr. Wood arrives in Transylvania and hires a cab. The driver asks him where he was going. He replies: ‘to a castle owned by the Count Dracula. The driver laughs loudly and asks ironically: ‘to the castle of farts the count there is a bum’. Here take this garlic in case the count wants to devour your blood.

On reaching the Castle I embarked and there was Count greeting me. He led me to a marvelous ornamented room and later I had a sumptuous banquet. I went to sleep. In the middle of the night some vampires came to my room and I let off big fart and off they went frightened.

In the Morning I went to the port to arrange transportation of Count’s cargo. Soon the Cargo arrived in Castle Gotham in London.

At 12 Midnight the count woke up from his coffin and visited Pub Vagina. He started biting the necks of the people. Then something mystical started happening. All the people in the pub vagina started farting. Wood came into the Pub with garlic and the count vanished. (silliest plot in the world of fiction)

Lampooning The Tarot

The Magician

There’s nothing psychic about you.  Real life is a life of hard work. Persistence and perseverance will to lead to accomplishing goals. There’s no magic in you and you are only a piece of paper.

The High Priestess

How can an idol like you predict one’s   future and fortune? Woe to those who sprinkle incense at your altar.  The sacred feminine is an ordinary woman working hard to make both ends meet. If you occur in a reading, shoo and pooh you.

Empress

You have become decadent in the annals of History. You bring no luck and fortune. I am going to rubbish you into the dustbin.

Emperor

Woe to you foolish creature. Life is simple and not a complicated royalty. People love the single things of life and they do not require a tarot reading.

Hierophant

Nature and God will outlive you as being teachers of humanity.  There is nothing esoteric about you. You have fooled millions of people with your tarot reading.

Lovers

Real and romantic love is to be found in humans and not in a card. Real love is emotions and ecstasy. If you occur in a reading, you will be discarded as a pile of junk.

The Chariot

The Chariot has relevance to contemporary life as something that moves. The chariot is a machine. How can the Chariot show the future? That’s baloney. If a chariot occurs in a reading, kiss the earth and say goodbye.

Strength

How can strength be found in a card? How can strength predict the future of a person? Strength is connoted with lexical meaning and it means bodily strength and also a quality of the mind.

Hermit

No one loves to live life in seclusion. Hermit is a misnomer. Humans have the tendency to be passionate about life. Yes Hermit as a Metaphor means solitude of nature.

The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune is the most baffling card. If drawn, it predicts good luck. That never happens. Count on your fortunes as a blessing from God. If the wheel fortune is drawn: tear it and say Hello loudly.

Justice

How can the card Justice imply the quality of being fair? Justice is legality and left to the courts. How can justice show an aspect of life? If Justice comes in a reading, give a tiny scratch and turn the lights on.

Hanged Man

A hanged Man is showing a person on a tree lying relaxed. Hanged Man is an aberration for a God which has created human beings. Cough up the symbolism of the tarot and put your trust in God.

Death

Death is a card that harbors negativity. Just rebuke it with the blood of Jesus. The Tarot is all lies. If you get the card of death, put it in water and eat a gooseberry.

Temperance

The Lexical meaning is thus: being abstinent from alcohol and drugs. Humans are emotional people and they need to exhibit their feelings. If you get the card Temperance, grease it out with ink.

The Devil

The Devil is a beastly tempest. Why should invite the Devil into one’s life? Being one with God we have to live a life purity and virtue. If the Devil card comes in reading burn it up.

The Tower

The Tower in the Tarot symbolizes ruin and profligacy. The tower is not a negative thing but a positive one, symbolizing strength and determination.  If the Tarot occurs in a reading, say Hallelujah Amen and make the paper into bits and pieces.

The Star

The Star in the Tarot symbolizes good luck and fortune. How can one put one’s trust in bits of paper? It is better to rely on God than on the tarot. If the tarot comes in a reading, wash it by saying: I won’t sing no more.

 

Lampoon

A Horror-scope for 2019
Aries
Aries the first sign resembles the horns of a ram. 2019 is a year of pulp fiction. The predictions made by astrologers are facile and incoherent. Count on hope rather than in luck. Chant this mantra: FORBELLUM SINCTUM CALMAITUM. This year you are going to have the fear of smells. Avoid smelly places. Lady luck opens her eyes and then closes it. Pinch on your nipples thrice a day for luck.
Taurus
Taurus is the sign of the bull. Chant this mantra for what you aspire. ARCANIEUM MUNDANUM LACTORIUM. You will have to pull a cart in both directions. Kiss a virgin before you go to bed.
Gemini
For Gemini the sign of the twins this year is smooth and flexible. Don’t believe in astrology. Chant this mantra thrice: LEKULUM PAKANIUM SECULUM. Scratch your ass three times for this year being a successful one. Chances are likely to be twin faced as your signs say.
Cancer
Cancer the sign of the crab has hope waiting in favor. Chant this mantra thrice: SECULUM NOSTALGIUM VANESIUM. Drink the milk of a lactating mother. Refrain from high places. Collect some of your hair and burn it.
Leo
Leo the Lion has smooth sailing this year. Chant this mantra thrice: FOOLISHM CANADIAM VANDANIUM. All astrologers are liars. Pinch your skin day and night. Eat the petal of a flower in milk.
Virgo
For Virgo the Virgin, new opportunities open up not because of the stars but because of hard work. Chant this mantra three times: VRIGILIAM ANEDUM SANTICORIM. Your effort will be rewarded. Pat a woman on her but to make things easier for you.
Libra
For Libra the balancing scales, this year is one of fruition not because of the swagger of astrologers and tarot readers. At the work place people admire you for hard work Skip five times a day and be kind to yourself.
Scorpio
Scorpio the sign of the scorpion has a year of results. Chant this mantra: DEVILIUM SINDICUM PLASORTNIUM for luck. Look at the bums of a new born calf to be successful.
Sagittarius
For a Sagittarian there is no stagnancy this year. Chant this mantra twice: MYOPIUM RIDICUM RIDDICULUM to make this year smile. Keep on adding zeros to a 1 digit and when done exclaim that you are silly one. You can carry the world on your shoulders with a smile.
Capricorn
For Capricorn the goat this year is tasty meat for you. You will rubbish astrology as a myth. Chant this mantra thrice: WISTILUM MERGATIUM TREMINIUM to be lucky. Write: I don’t believe in nonsense 210 times a day.
Aquarius
For Aquarius the water carrier the world will flow smoothly in your vessel not by luck or by chance but by your own efforts. Chant this mantra: ANADIUM CONDOMIUM RUBICUM to yield beneficial results. Take a virgin’s hair and burn it.
Pisces
For Pisces the fish, the astrologers have rubbished you as a sign of fish floating in opposite directions. That has been a personality stigma. Remove all the negative influence of astrology. Chant this mantra thrice: LCUCKYNIUM ACHIEVIUM TREMENDUM. Gently rub the behind of a cow this year for one’s own satisfaction.