IT

It was bought by me. It had the numbers and letters as: UB 107774. Adding the numbers will yield to 13 an enigmatic number (Christ was 13). It carries a prize value of 50 Million Rupees. Every day I take it in my hands and think of myself as a prospective winner. The draw date is: 23/05/2019

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Valley of Sin

The pilgrim has entered the valley of sin. What sees is a church turned into a brothel and a pub. A woman with weird hairdo of purple hair and flaunting lip stick entices him to the pub. When he was showing unwillingness, she with a force of strength pulled him inside. She ordered vodka large. As he drank the white poison he had an uneasy rumbling in his stomach and belched it all out. She became totally drunk with unsteady footsteps pulled him into the brothel. She threw of her clothes with force and spread her legs incongruously inviting him to lay her to bed. The pilgrim felt half tempted but suddenly heard the voice of God and rushed out of the place. It was quite dark in the streets and in a shady place the drug peddlers were selling dope. The called to him and asked him whether he wanted a joint. He took a puff and staggered uneasily and retched on the pavement. A small voice inside him said: ‘son you are going the wrong way’. Guilt overtook him and he was feeling repentant. He started walking away from that place. He came to a plaza and surrounded by bright light. It was gambling casino. The place was agog with all sorts of people, peddlers, pimps and gamblers. Soon the dice was thrown. Some won and some lost. There was strip tease dancer showing off her svelte figure. Some of the gamblers drunk were throwing money at her. One gambler drunk caught her behind. The bouncers came and caught hold of him and threw him out. One of the gamblers, who staked a large sum of money, lost it all, and committed suicide. The pilgrim felt a sickening feeling inside. He did not know what to do. Again he heard the soft voice of God telling him to go away. Feeling heavy in the heart he quietly walked away. On the road he saw prostitute injecting her arms with dope. He went near her and asked her if you are all right. She fell dizzy and collapsed to the ground. It was a cold night and she had no warm clothing. The pilgrim covered her with his own blazer. Then took her by the hand and checked her into a motel. She started mumbling all kinds of things in her sleep. ‘I have a husband who has abandoned me. I have a home where I am not welcome. I have wounded and bruised mind; can someone please help me’. The pilgrim sat beside her and talked softly to her. He said: ‘do not worry dear; I will take care of you’. He stayed with her throughout the night.

Drabble

Drabble

Hong Kong
I was in Hong Kong to attend an interview for the post of an English Teacher. I stayed in the YMCA in Kowloon. As I was walking on the street, I came across a brothel. And the Madame there said: ‘come son inside and have a drink and enjoy my women’. I being a puritan ran away from there. Next morning I again walked across the Brothel. The Madame there was waving incense. When she saw me, she shooed at me in great anger. I felt taken aback.

Jakarta
I was working in an elite school in Jakarta. One day the Principal called me to invite the UN directory for the school’s program. I went to his office and I had to wait for some time. Then he called me to his office and said he was all happy to come to the school. What surprised me was strange Shamanic Doll on his table. It had a most peculiar expression on its face and that being neither sad nor angry. The expression was not pleasant at all.

222 Baker Street
Mr. Holmes was lying in bed when Watson knocked and entered. Watson said: ‘Good Morning Mr. Holmes. Here are the Newspaper headlines: ‘Heist in bank a large sum of money looted. Police have no clue’. Mr. Holmes gave a sneer: ‘it’s time; please start counting the money’.

Tale Stranger than Fiction
My uncle an unmarried priest passed away. We went to the parsonage to clear his belongings. It was raining heavily at that time. Water was seeping in through the kitchen door. When I and my brother-in-law looked at the water, to our surprise and fright, we saw facial image of our uncle in the water.

Colleague
She came all the way from UK on a teacher exchange program. She became fascinated with my poetry. She was also an artist and a poet. She encouraged me very much to write. Our relationship was a Platonic one for me. But it was not so for her. Once she was staying in Hotel and she gave me some whisky and asked me to bed with her. I ran away from her.

April 14th 2019

Morn was a bard’s music. Shy colored in harmonious melodies. The brook murmured is soothing melodies.

I have spent my time pondering on the Gospel of Luke. I admire the Marvel of Christ as to how he replied to the Rabbis who accused him of false teaching.

Coffin and Corpse
Coffin and Corpse as an Idiom means, being dead to emotion and reason. Some days I am a Coffin and Corpse.

Lampooning
The Country Mythopia is known for its eccentricity, intolerance and fascism. Elections are round the corner and I am praying that the present government won’t win the elections. The Cow in Mythopia is a sacred Mother. People who eat beef are looked down upon. The states in which Mythopia governs have abolished. Mythopia does not tolerate any other God except its idol, a zoomorphic one (animal and human in form). The Evangelists in Mythopia are paraded naked in the streets. Mythopia has a degrading caste system. Even though it is banned in Mythopia, people still practice it in contemporary life. Elections are round the corner and the present government by hook or crook wants to win the elections. They have hatched a conspiracy. In Mythopia many electronic voting machines don’t work. Many voters have not got their identity cards. Cronies of the Government are rigging the elections and they are booth capturing. The Prime Minister of Mythopia has not completed his graduation and does not know to govern the economy. A blunder he has done is demonetizing the economy. This has led to sliding down of the Rupee. They have also looted the money printed in the central bank of the country. Then there’s a notorious Aircraft deal. Mythopia Okayed this deal and it involves gigantic loss of money in the exchequer. Mythopia is also famous for corporate scams. The corporate Giants YAHOOHE AND WHOHAHA have escaped from the country.

Autobiography
When I was in grade 1 I was sent to boarding school. I had the problem of bed wetting. For this as punishment I was paraded naked around the school. Life was hell for me.

This happened to me when I was in fifth grade. We had classes for art. I used to dislike these classes because I did not have taste for art. We were made to draw a vase with flowers on it. We had to show it at the end of the period to the Master. Just when the bell was about to ring: the master called me. He looked at my painting and frowned and then asked me to turn back and he caned me still the stick broke.

LORD JEHOVAH Jesus: Yes what I Yes on earth: Yes it in heaven for me.

Was Shakespeare a bourgeoisie? To whom were the Shakespearean plays intended? Most of his plays portray Kings and Nobles and deal with themes of courtly love. There is no voice of the Subaltern.

222 Baker Street
Holmes was lying down in his bed and resting. Watson enters and knocks at the door. Holmes replies: ‘enter’. Watson enters with a newspaper in his hand. The headlines are screaming: Bank Robbery: Biggest Heist: 10 Million pounds stolen: Police have no clues about the culprit. ‘This is so strange and puzzling’ says Holmes. Watson replied with a sneer: ‘Shall I start counting the money’.

Lampooning

Lampooning
Territopia
Territopia is a country booming in oil and all its people are followers of God TUTKEY. Terrorists of the country have besieged the city and taken its rulers captives. The terrorists are psychos and their favorite hobby is to murder evangelists from Liberalopia. Here is a beheading ceremony. While beheading the evangelist, the leader of the country will mount a Bactrian camel and have sex with it. The leader Cashimbinhalalpork says: ‘is the infidel ready to be beheaded? Please give me a ladder to mount the camel Aliflailah.’ The followers chant: ‘Lord Tutkey we offer you praises…..UR UR UR UR UR… May TUTKEY be praised’. The executor hacks the head of the evangelist.

Horroriforia
Horriforia is a onetime democracy that is ruled by a fascist party. For the worshippers, the Cow is a sacred Mother. Though democratically elected, the leaders are very enthusiastic about changing the constitution. Horroriforia is also famous and notorious of the people not following their religion. An evangelist Luke and his children were burnt to death. Some evangelists are paraded naked on the streets. The leader of Horroriforia called Hermes Cult demonetized the economy. He and his cronies ransacked the banks and buccaneered large sums of money. Elections are round the corner and the people have to decide whether they want a fascist government or a liberal democratic one.

A Letter to J K Rowling from a Muggle

Dear Ms. J K Rowling. We muggles are not a bad kind of people. We are Godly, Caring and Compassionate. I don’t want to become rich and famous by selling my soul to the Devil. I am sad that you are turning the young ones to Witchcraft and the Occult. As a Muggle, I work hard to earn my living and I prefer not to become a slave of your hyped entertainment. What does the Bible have to say of witchcraft? The Bible cautions people asking them not dabble in Witchcraft and the Occult. What disturbs me most is you are turning little ones away from faith. Again your novels are an escapism from the realities of life. I write this letter a concerned father.

Lampooning Dracula

Mr. Wood receives a letter from Transylvania. He reads the letter: ‘I am count Dracula and I want you to come to Transylvania and transport my cargo to London. I will pay your handsomely I also want you to buy me property in London ’. Mr. Wood discusses this with his wife and she encourages him to take up the lucrative deal.

Mr. Wood arrives in Transylvania and hires a cab. The driver asks him where he was going. He replies: ‘to a castle owned by the Count Dracula. The driver laughs loudly and asks ironically: ‘to the castle of farts the count there is a bum’. Here take this garlic in case the count wants to devour your blood.

On reaching the Castle I embarked and there was Count greeting me. He led me to a marvelous ornamented room and later I had a sumptuous banquet. I went to sleep. In the middle of the night some vampires came to my room and I let off big fart and off they went frightened.

In the Morning I went to the port to arrange transportation of Count’s cargo. Soon the Cargo arrived in Castle Gotham in London.

At 12 Midnight the count woke up from his coffin and visited Pub Vagina. He started biting the necks of the people. Then something mystical started happening. All the people in the pub vagina started farting. Wood came into the Pub with garlic and the count vanished. (silliest plot in the world of fiction)