Recently I met a conspiracy addict, a die-hard Christian and we discussed many things. I, though knowing, asked him causally about the symbolism of the 1 $ Bill –the all Seeing Eye and the unfinished pyramid which I regard as a great work of art. The emblem is surreal and juxtaposes fiction and reality to a credible tangibility. He abruptly told me it’s demonic and signifies the New World Order. Unlike him, I paid Indian currency and bought a 1 $ Bill which I carry in my purse. I am so mesmerized by its enigma. Again he told me that the Vatican is a Cult and devotion to the idol Virgin Mary is idolatry. I think in a way its true as there’s no Biblical reference to worship Mary. And again Mary was not a Virgin. I am pondering over the question is Catholicism blaspheming Christianity? I don’t know the answer and I do not care. I become amused when people light candles for the idol Mary. Again our thoughts drifted on to the internet. He said WWW is 666, the mark of the beast. Yes, in a way he is true as it represents the Hebrew letter Vav. It is humorous to see what people post on face book. Many souls post their airline ticket, Arrival and departure and Selfies. Facebook is an ego booster to people with low self esteem. For my friend Facebook, WordPress and all social media sites are controlled by the Illuminati. People using Facebook suffer from Egosis a strange disease of the EGO. There are eccentric people who change their profile picture every now and then. Worse are the ones who proclaim sickness and want to get likes and shares. There are some who use Christ and plead: share and like and get your wishes satisfied. My friend believes that this is a plot of the Illuminati to gratify the ego of people. Again my friend said why should a phone be called I—phone? I stands for the Illuminati. He told me that 13 (13 again a strange occult number) families in the World control the Illuminati and want to control the whole world. For him the Bombing of the twin towers was a plan of the Illuminati to start a war in the Middle East and to get a footing of America to dabble in the affairs of the Middle East. The Illuminati’s interest is OIL and Iraq is richly blessed with it. It’s a frank to probe what was wrong with Iraq during the regime of Saddam. Again our conversation drifted on to Robin Williams. My friend claims that he was murdered by the Illuminati. Even the death of Michael Jackson was not normal but an Illuminati sponsored death. I am not sure whether I can believe all of this but I also carry my doubts and I am also addicted to conspiracy. I turn to my purse and smile wickedly at the 1$ bill. For all I can say is that the Illuminati can go to hell. I care two hoots.
I am the Super Star of Mollywood (Malayalam Film Industry). I am a fallen goat. There was a bitch actress who slandered me to my wife saying that I was having an illegitimate affair which is also partly true. I hired a quotation team (thugs) to molest her by blockading her car and hijacking it. They did the same meticulously. Later on the quotation team got arrested by the Police. From Jail they started black mailing me for more money. Then I complained to the police, that I was being blackmailed. The cops grilled me for hours and the statements I made did not corroborate and they arrested me. Now I am in jail with petty criminals. The judiciary does not draw a fine line with rape and molestation. I am also denied bail by the highest court of Kerala. Do I have the right to feel angry or sorry? When I am taken to the court my own fans boo and mock at me in derision. I have been ousted from the film makers association. Come on, the bitch was only molested, not raped. I have every right to take my own sweet revenge. I end by quoting Sartre: ‘Man is condemned to be free’.
It’s prejudice among South East Asians to accept Native Speakers to teach English. They might not even have the requisite qualifications but still they are preferred. Whites’ form a privileged term and colored and blacks are marginalized. While during an interview in Hong Kong I was asked about my teaching experiences. After uttering a sentence, I was dismissed. Before the interview they had promised to reimburse the airfare. But to my consternation they did not! I lost a lot of money and ended up home penny less. I do not have any regrets but Asians fail to recognize Asian talent. I was hoping to my heart that the panel would ask me questions on Literature and English. But my hopes sank. At least those bastards could have paid me back my airfare.
Recently I got the idea to write a novella, a work of fiction based entirely on thought. To write is to become a metaphor. Will I be fanciful, ornamental and magical? I don’t know where to begin…To write is to become God…When you read me, you kill me as the death of the author. There is a monster moving my hand … Every stroke is a metaphysical ellipse. Words become scattered like fangs. Thought becomes submerged in an eclipse. Ideas bang their heads on the wall. I will create an end: ode to a hyperbole in the suspension of belief…a requiem where a voice speaks to a wreath, a synesthetic trope. I am writing now….fanciful, ornamental and picturesque.
He wonders at other writers: how do they write books? One person told him, to be a writer, you must read all the books in the word. How can that be possible? Finally he decided to write the shortest epic in the World. “He is in , and nearing a .” Thus ends the epic, a stoic ornament.
Yes, it’s word that I coined. To tell you the fact I dread cops. The moment I see a cop jeep in front of me, I slow down. I become so anxious. I wonder, have I done murder, have I done rape, have I been burglar? No, none of these things. Yet my heart beats 10000 times louder. Today I saw a cop jeep pass by my house. Immediately, the fear, are these ass***** going to enter my house. I am seized with a trauma. I wonder are they coming to arrest me. I don’t know why I have this fear… I dread their uniform and everything thing about them. Recently I wrote something rude to a woman in Whatsapp and she threatened me that she will complain to the cyber cops. Thank heavens she did not! Recently I got down from a bus and lit a cigarette. There was a car parked a little distance away from me. Now smoking is banned in public places. As I stubbed it out and walked to the car …I was taken aback. It was written “police”! The cops all ladies gave me a sound ticking off. I was lucky that they did not book me. I am not at all comfortable with cops. Yes, I am a copOphobian. It is written in front of all Police Stations of Kerala: “People Friendly Police”. I don’t know whether to smile or laugh. I wonder is the handcuff people friendly!
I have insomnia and when I do not take sleeping pills, I go into a dream state. Yesterday, the whole night I was dreaming. I am able to recount only one of my dreams. I was driving a minivan to buy cigarettes and I crossed a bridge and after that I was driving on and on through a lush paddy field. I woke up without reaching the destination. I can’t find a single dream book which carries multiple interpretations. What does the dream signify? Do the bridge and the lush green paddy field signify new positive beginnings? Is a Freudian interpretation of anxiety in the unconscious a right one or is the dream a detour from the realities of life? Freud calls it as condensation and displacement. I don’t trust my unconscious with Freud. Am I authenticating my life in the existential Sartre’s- way?