September 8th 2019


Morning was a slow itching day without nothing much to happen. I was feeling sad about not accomplishing my wishes. But I am hopeful and filled with the language of cheerful optimism. The sky lay like an oven of bright clouds. Amongst the clouds I could see Garuda, the Indian mythic bird which is the symbol of the Indonesian flag. I am wondering if my wishes are coming true. Yes, they are and I can feel it in my heart. Seeing Garuda is good fortune and I feel so happy about it. For a long time I have been wanting my life to be stabilized, with more money to satisfy my material needs. I need money to travel all over the world and I want to write my passions out. Now my dreams have started working out my wishes in harmony. I have been very generous with money, giving lots to the church when I had money. Now I have only enough for my needs and I live a hand to mouth existence. My sleep is being regularized by the psychiatric medicines that I take. I have been identified with Bipolar disorder.
To write is to make an existence come alive. The spirit and the soul work behind the scenes creating a tensional harmony. To explore the lands of many people, to taste, touch and feel the manna of experiences is a writer being stimulated. Writing is the four seasons of experience. Summer is elated writing. Spring brings out pathos of thought and feeling. Autumn signifies moods and thoughts of writing. Winter is an occurrence of anguish and angst. Writing is also the art of wish fulfillment. Writing is a therapeutic art. Writing expresses words that cannot be spoken. Writing is the magic of the pen. Writing is the weaving craft of desire. Writing is the character sketch of people. Writing edifies the soul. There is a soul of thought in writing. Writing is the cathartic release of the body. Writing realizes the dream of the writer. Writing pours out the angst of the soul. Writing is a melancholic soliloquy. Why am I writing like this? I don’t know. I am a restless writer. What is the art of the writer? The depths of feeling, the warmth of emotion, the passion of reason are all existential philosophies to liberate the writer. Writing is grounded in the use of the ellipse. One is forced to write out of necessity. A writer’s prose is broken but clarity cannot be decimated. Writing can be an obscure rendition as human emotions are palpable. Where does the writer belong? Am I the writer seeking recognition? Shame on me! I write because passions live in me. Am I being truthful when I write? When I write my fictional self takes over. The fictional self gorges the pen. The real self is subdued and the author is the self – the master writer. Writing happens when one is forced to write and also when the writer indulges in the pleasure of the pen. Writing is the alter-ego taking over. Writing is a mania to overcome what’s a phobia in the real world. Writing is mytho-poetic exercise. Writing can be an illusion of the pen. One indulges in writing as one is forced to love it. Writing is an art of the epicurean self. Writing frees the writer from the self inflicted guilt. Writing is the religion of the writer. The poem is the heart of the soul and prose the body of passions. Writing releases the self to a pure existential catharsis. I am what I am: I am a writer too. Why clamor for recognition? Why seek aplomb? You have to write the joy of the heart in a melodious poem of art

Collective Unconscious and Christianity


Jung the famous Swizz psychiatrist introduced what is known as the collective unconscious. For Jung, it was repository of psychic symbolism common to all of humanity. Jung has used the symbolism of the Mandala as an example. But Mandala belongs to Pagan religions and could be a satanic talisman. What I would like to say is God—Jehovah—Jesus is the reservoir of the collective unconscious and he has skillfully created Adam in his own likeness. The collective unconscious is the consciousness which we share with God.

A Psychic Story

I was an avid follower of the theories of Carl Gustav Jung the Swizz psychiatrist. Notable are his contributions especially the theory of the Collective Unconscious, a world that is shared by all humanity. He is also noted for the theory of archetypes and he has created (drawn) the wise seer Philemon.

While I was reading his Memories Dreams and Reflections, a strange thing happened. The lit candle fell by its own accord on to the book decimating a large portion of it. I was reading about the collective unconscious.
I wonder why this memory which happened years back is now coming to prominence in my mind. Yes, Jung can be part of my collective unconscious and I welcome him to be a part of me.

Philosophical Etymology

Philosophical etymology refers to the ability to transform words into new meanings and also the process of coining neologisms. For example: the existential philosophers proclaimed the ontology in three states: Catharsis, Angst and Ecstasy. I have coined a PresenceUation: the joy, peace and love you find Christ: something which the world can’t give. Philosophical etymology gives way to writing of texts in new philosophical jargon

Dream Journal ( A true story)

Two nights back I had one of the strangest dreams ever manifested. Why strange? I could find no satisfactory explanation in the dictionary of dream symbols. Let me first of all narrate this bizarre and zany dream having an occult and psychic significance. I dreamed of my ex-college-lover Sheeba, now deceased. She came to me and said she wanted to get pregnant and we started discussing about making love. Then all of a sudden she turned violent into a fearsome and gruesome Goddess Kali who holds severed heads in her multiple hands.


Her mother, an old hag who chews betel leaves with tobacco spat it on my face. The most frightening situation was I could not open my mouth. I was literally choking. Dream symbolism speaks of choking where it says you cannot swallow something in your real life but not what I experienced in real. I made a choking sound and woke my wife who put on the light and thought that I was having a stroke. I lasted for fifteen minutes before normal consciousness came back to me. What does this dream mean Biblically? I am no die hard Christian nor lukewarm. It says in Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Was God revealing to me that there exists an occult world of spirits and demons? Was he telling me that I should rekindle my spiritual consciousness and detour from sin? I have no answers only questions.