Journal

Woke early …morn was trope of birds floating gently in the air. Greedily devoured mom’s sweet tea. Smoked a lot of fags. Clouds lay in mystic colors …orange, purple and violet. A butterfly perched on my hand; it was a saint bringing me good tidings. My significant other in Cochin gave me a reply that she delivered a baby boy. How I long to make sweet love to her. With vermilion sprinkled on her forehead she looks very beautiful. That Filipino cunt that I had an affair with is really a bother. She is become an old hag. The sun became a shining ball of light. How I long to lead a retired life devoted to writing. I long to bring my significant other from Ghana and I long to make love to her. Poems bloomed like flowers. I have been writing for years and how I long for fame and recognition. Is my writing so really bad? Yes, my poems have won some good reviews and I am so happy about it. I am running short of money and I desperately need a good paying job. In my mother’s school I am paid a pittance. I really hate my mother the old hag. She wears a gold necklace and I long to wrest it from her. Yes, I also hate my conniving wife. She has taken me to asylum many times. Cops are a real fuck! A fucking astrologer wrote imprisonment for me …luckily nothing of that sort happened to me. Astrologers are fucked up assholes. I admire the beauty in simple things of life. I need to win a windfall and buy a house in the hills in Munnar and live with the rest of my life with significant other. My significant other is Grace and she is so charming and beautiful. Am I progressing in the art of writing? I really don’t know! I must be. I am so fucking fond of writing. Time bring a syllable of thought. Music what passions you bring to the soul. Charm is an enigma …a mystic solitude and passion is her sister. My soul is a brothel of pollution. Luck you are a tame brother. The sky lay as mystic white feathers. Bards of poems flew in the sky. A poem rode a motorcycle. Summer is come and I am waiting for the monsoon. I am thinking of the houseboats lying in the tranquil backwaters of Kerala. I long to spend a night in erotic ecstasy in them with my significant other. Time has become an erotic stream of thought. Christianity is an Armageddonizing religion. Christ you are the biggest egotist. Religion is a stinking chalice. Time, free from the pain of lacking money. I am a swine frolicking in the sea of thought. Life is a surrealistic painting. The artist of life is the body. I am shitting a body of thought. I want to enjoy passions to the brim. I want every day to be a financially lucky one. Windfoliate my petals with joy. I am a Cervantes of Postmodern Fiction. Time relieve the cramps of bad luck. Life feed me with luck. Life is an extreme and there is no middle way as Buddha said. Nietzsche, I owe you poems of roses. When will Time heal the wound of my body? Nirvana I wing you a harp. Poems of joy wake my body up. Sing a joyful song to nature. Melancholy you are a trembling chain. I need a well paid joy. Christianity tyrannizes the soul. Passions run into a river that’s deep. I long to be gratified in sex. Sex is a pain that hurts. My lovers are far away: what to do? Pain, you are a bleeding anathema. I want to surgicalize my wounds. I want to sensationalize my feelings. Brothel is the dope of the mind. Passion you have to sterilize the body. Orgasm is an epic novel of the mind. How to slutify my mind? I am creative, poetic and Epicurean. I have been an oppressed child. Time has to heal my wounds. God arranged a marriage that was fucked up. I need to go to Ghana to see my significant other. I want to make love to her. Passion, you wing of hope. Time is a serial killer. Luck when can I expect your good tidings? I am not willing to deny my life and take up the cross and follow Jesus. Can a virgin conceive? Bah! Baloney! All religions are prostitutes conniving innocent souls. I am going to Nirvanize my religion. Devil does not dance to my tunes. I am confused about my worldviews. I have worshipped the Devil but I have found that’s no use. The Devil is a fucked up stinker. Why can’t God be permissive about Sin? I have wasted 48 years of my life. That Filipino cunt is a fucked up rat. Woe, I give you a big fuck. My wife is fucking cunt. Muhammad brothelized religion. I don’t canonize saints but I canonize my dick. Time, don’t treat me like a dead duck. I am generous and liberal with money. God you are a Scrooge of desire. I have to strangle my wife and mother. Oh God I would love to kill them. They are my worst enemies. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Patience I can’t wait to torch you. Windfall, you owe me a big applause. Time, free the wings of my body. Refuge, you are a whore of thought. I have been dreaming about a windfall but I have not been lucky in getting one. Why the fuck is that? The All Seeing Eye the Unfinished Pyramid, you can go to hell. Masons babble hypocrisy. Luck is a demon that has not been kind to me. I am a fucked up brothel and a stinking asylum. I curse the day of my birth. I am not speaking vain words. Heaven and eternity don’t mean anything to me. They are just a fart. Woo time to win me a windfall.

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Tropes

Windfalls bring me an elephant trunk of a bonanza. Lottery you are a fairy Godmother’s magic wand. I drank her wine lips. Metaphors floated in the sky. Money you are a God to spend. Her body is an erotic trope. I have to live a life of luck. Time is the servant of opportunity. My loin is a beastly passion. Luck I have charmed you into a smile. Vulva, you are a hotbed of passion. Sterile words are a poison for the soul. I flowed her into a river of ecstasy. When it comes to gambling I am a devil. Ecstasy you are poem to make love with. The fruit of Adultery is sweet. I drank her honey lips. Sweet is the fruit of fornication. Passion you are a river of joy. Satan is a lottery of luck. Palestine you are a hot volcano. Rain whispered the song of the heart. My significant other is a passionate butterfly. She is as beautiful as a peacock. Eve is a tempted serpent. Money is the God of the earth. I disseminated the poetry of the sperm. Arranged marriages are a stale fish. I am living in isle of angst. I bartered God for money. Sin is a serpent of joy. Joy you are an ecstasy to cherish. Life, a majestic wall. Windfalls are the wind of luck. I planted a seed in her womb. Money is a pussy to be licked. Money is the Phallus of Shiva. Luck yields me a tree of money. Shakespeare dramatized words and made the theatre of the world. My feelings run into passionate weather. Karma you are a God of shit. I licked her to ecstasy. Words affirmed well wish my soul. Body is a fleshy ecstasy. Time is a river of hope. I am a wounded childhood. Liberty what crimes are committed in thy name? Money is the swine that is good to eat. I am a wound that is scorching. Mary is an eclectic poem. Search my heart for passion. Nirvana you are a pillar of orgasmic ecstasy. Sin, your roots are in hell. Wine, money and women, you are poetries being sung. 666, I have made you into a garland of luck. Paris is the brothel of the mind and Philippines is the brothel of the body. Heaven is a virtue of self defeating morality. Rebellion you are joyful Satan. I have killed virtues and morality. I am a slave of lust. The past is awakening, the present passion and the future of ecstasy. Virtue you are a pillar of God and I stamp you down with sodomy. My pen is a whore giving pleasure. Seasons are a fruit growing ripe. Temptation you are a seed of fornication. All life is to be a living ecstasy. Her womb gestated with poetry. I am a seer of words. Bloody Mary is a cocktail gone crazy. My dreams are a dark world of life. Chance I obliterate you with luck. I am eagerly waiting for sunny days. Money is a miracle of getting a windfall. Blessed are the ecstatic for they shall obtain ecstasy. Winter I am burying you in a grave. Grace, you are woman offering me her body. My eyes are the windows of lust. Epiphany you are a novel book. Wings are dancing in the air. I meditate money and windfalls. Memory sooths a dream. I have killed chance and I have birthed luck. Time you are a halo of God. Holy Spirit is a good bottle whiskey. Mary you are a fish good to eat. Words are an opera of sperm. Capitalism is sinful cash. Marxism is a revolution that died. I call life to celebrate the joy of existence. Cash you are the economy of wealth. Cash, striptease your clothes. Cash is the sin of ecstasy. Poems wake up the dead. Poems, you lyric the soul. Wealth make me no beggar. Sin is the soul of ecstasy. Wine, women and money you are erotic poems. I am a fleshy spirit. Carnality is an Epicurean metaphor. God is a virtue of heaven and sin an erotic hell. Lottery, I have ordained you to live as cash in my purse. Angst burden me no more with chains. Money you earth’s God. Wretched idol why do want to be God? God cures my luck with money. Windfall is a lucky poem. Shitting is an anal Oedipus. Sisyphus was condemned by Gods and Anand is proclaimed to be the joy of existence by Gods. Sin is an altar to delight. Novel poem, you woken up my phallus. Ambiguity is the seed of literature. Passion, you are an ode of joy. I threw off my clothes of unhappiness. The hammer and the sickle, you are a God that died. Sartre, I owe you a pound of existence. The soul bleeds the blood of ecstasy. Train your thoughts to breed catharsis and ecstasy. Today has been blessed by luck. Ghana is an opera to be celebrated with my significant other. My significant other is a beautiful poem. Windfalls you are my lucky friend.

Analysis of Heidegger’s Philosophy

Heidegger defines being is Dasien or standing out. Heidegger goes on to question the meaning of being in an incoherent way. The meaning of being lies in three states—catharsis, ecstasy and angst. These are primarily ego states and the meaning of being is related to processual ontology. Meaning of being is always in the state of being processed.

Heidegger connects being to time. How does time be a source of generic references? The historicity of being lies in its connectedness with temporality. All sensory phenomenon enter the realm of consciousness through time. The meaning of being, its historicity is revealed in the structure of time.

Next Heidegger makes an explication of truth. He tries to paint a picture of truth and posit it with its relationship to the meaning of being. I would like to propose a twofold dictum for truth. Truth consists of facts and emotions. Facts can be scientific, fictional, legal or medicinal, linguistic or mathematical. Emotions are bottled up in the three ego states of the mind—catharsis, angst and ecstasy. Truth is temporal and the meaning of truth changes over time.

Heidegger does not formulate and adequate answer to the meaning of metaphysics. How does being occupy a transcendent structure? The meaning of being in processed in three ego states—Catharsis, angst and ecstasy. These states of the mind become conceptual as transcendental ontology.

Next Heidegger proceeds to define art. First of all art is processual ontology. The art of being has three ego states—angst, catharsis and ecstasy. Being exists as an epic in these three states. Next definition of art lies in creation. Art can be painting, music or literature. The creator is God when she or he creates a work of art. The artist while creating attains the structure of transcendental ontology. Next definition of art lies in cognition and interpretation. When we cognize with our consciousness we are creating a structure of art. Similarly art awakens when we are in the process of interpretation.

Next I would like to interpret Heidegger’s concept of Humanism. Humanism as a philosophy is defined as a concern for the human being. For me, as a philosophy, I would like to envision humanism as dialectical humanism. In the economy of wants and needs, labor is also a product and the product of labor lies in valuablelization. Dialectical humanism proposes a society to be established on the basis of justice and peace. There are no borders as nations and the world is one as a democracy. Dialectical humanism paves the way for the establishment of a single monetary currency and one world government.

Philosophies which have fascinated me

I have been an avid reader of Philosophy and Literary theory. Here I would like to explicate some philosophies which have fascinated me.

I am fond of Plato especially his theory of forms. There is a dark cave and in it lot of people and they can see light emanating from a wall obstructing the cave. What Plato meant was there was an ideal world apart from the physical world.

Next is the Philosopher Hegel who said there is a thesis, synthesis and antithesis. Let’s use an example to illustrate his idea. The end of World War I brought the harsh treaty of Versailles on Germany a thesis and this gave rise to the rise of Nazi rule in Germany an antithesis and brought forth the persecution of Jews synthesis.

Next I would like to take up the Philosophy of Marx. Marxian theory follows upon the modality of dialectical materialism. Everything starts from production and in a society there is the proletariat or the working class who form the base of the society and then there is the bourgeoisie the capitalists and the various ideological apparatuses like police, govt., law media etc. Workers are exploited class and one day by revolution they will seize the reins of power and establish a got based on equality and justice. However Marxism is a failed theory.

Next I would like to meander into literary theory and I would like to take up the Philosopher Derrida and his idea of deconstruction. Texts privilege some and marginalize others. Through a process of deconstructive reading we attain an interpretative mode of how privilege and marginalization occur.

Next I would like to take plunge into existentialism and the ideas of John Paul Sartre. Sartre introduces the concept of angst and he also introduces a notion of being which occurs in three processes, being in itself, being for itself and being for others. All this he assimilates as ego states. Being for in itself is a state of primary consciousness. Being for itself is an experiential context of being where the being traverses between angst, ecstasy and catharsis. Being for others is an eleemosynary state of being where the being is being empathetic.

Next I would like to explain Julia Kristeva’s semiotic and the symbolic realm. The semiotic realm is a structure of language where there is absence of grammar and punctuation. The semiotic realm occurs in streams of consciousness narratives, in music and dance. The symbolic realm is a structure where texts contain a coherent ideological structure of language. Medicinal and legal texts are symbolic structures. Literary texts contain both semiotic and symbolic realms.

Next I would like to explain the thought of the structuralists. Structuralism divides the language into signs. A sign is made up of the signifier and the signified. The signifier is a visual tangible thing belonging to the realm of the senses. The signified is an idea. For example if I say Rose is Passion: Rose is the signifier and passion the signified.

Next I would like to make intrusions into Freudian theory. Freudian theory proposes the ID the Ego and the Super Ego. The ID is the primary seat of passion, the Ego the language and culture that is assimilated and the Super Ego the laws of the society. An individual has to do a tight-rope-walking between these three states to hold life in equilibrium. Next I would like to explain the Oedipus complex where a child develops a love towards the mother and hatred and desire to kill the father. Freud is mistaken in his view and it is only at the onset of puberty that sexuality awakens. Emotional and empathetic bonding will make childhood into a wholesome being.

Next I would like to take up the Lacanian gaze and the mirror stage. The mirror stage is a stage of childhood where the child attains the maturity of gazing upon oneself as a mirror. Here language enters into the realm of consciousness of the child and world of the child traverses from plenitude to lack. The mirror stage has been used in film studies and critical theory. Next I would like to introduce the concept of the gaze. The gaze has strong sexual connotations. Feminists have developed the concept feminine gaze. And there in today’s word there exists lesbian and gay gaze.

I would like to take up some ideas of the Philosopher Camus. Camus says that we should authenticate our existence and we should avoid suicide. For Camus life is meaningless and absurd. In his book the myth of the Sisyphus, man is condemned to roll a boulder uphill only to find that it is pushed down by the Gods and he has to roll it up all the away. Camus is famous for atheistic nihilism.

Next I would like to explain Nietzsche’s theory of ART. For Nietzsche art was the combination of the Dionysian and the Apollonian. The Dionysian includes rhythm and beat and the apollonian includes melody and harmony. When the Dionysian and the Apollonian elements merge there occurs art. The Dionysian element stands for altered states and ecstasy and Apollonian element stands for catharsis and angst.

It was the Philosopher Aristotle who introduced the idea of Catharsis by which he meant the purification of the soul while watching tragedy. All art is made up of Catharsis, Angst and Ecstasy. Life is a celebration of these three states of being.

Ode to Grace

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Darling Grace,
I miss you
So much….
Poems
Of kisses
Break out
On my lips….
Let me embrace
You and caress
And let me
Feel the rhythm
Of your sweet
Body …..
Your breasts
Are so
Passionately
Round…..
I love the
Way your
Nipples
Stand taut ….
Let me
Squeeze
Them and
Suckle them
With odes of
Joy ….
There’s
Your honey
Lips …..
Let me
Melt my
Tongue in it
And cajole
You to sweet
Ecstasy….