Autobiographical Musings

I must thank the God All mighty for giving me new thoughts on the art of writing fiction. Ever since 2013 I was searching the right methodology of fiction. Yes, God has said give time for your soul to grow. Yes, the seed which God planted in me has become a ripe fruit of harvest. After I started reading the word of God, I have sent my worries crashing down the hill of pestilence. I sit with a joyful heart. I take joy in the little things of life. I meditate on the word of God day and night. God has blessed my sleep. I am no longer dreaming of childhood traumas. Worldly Philosophies have ruined my life leaving me to have confused worldviews. I now have an inner peace in me, a peace of Christ that the world cannot give me. I am lexi-polygamizing words of the Bible. Lexical Polygamy is a new way, a figurative device of interpreting the scripture. The reader soaks in the richness of the word as food and does not take into account the context. In other words: the reader absorbs the words into life. Life is an existential poetry with God Christ. I have removed all the chains of hate and anger I felt with God. I count on the blessings that have been given by God. I have a beautiful wife and two gorgeous children. God gave me an autistic son who is very special to me. I have a lovely daughter who is doing dental science. God today the 23rd of March has revealed the form, content and style of the novel. I have removed all hatred and bitterness that I have felt for my father. I have forgiven him completely. I have also forgiven my friend Mignonette for all the loose, dejecting thoughts that I have written against her. I regret for having called my mom an old hag. I am thankful to God that he provides me for my daily needs.

The day was a swan in incarnation—a whisper of the soul—radiating outer beauty—sweet buns chirped their daily song of beauty—the Sun made love to light by spreading a wondrous panorama—I soaked in nature’s beauty—God is doing a poetic waltz—a decoration of the feast of the sky in rhythms of poetry—sunshine—you happy soul—how you frolic with lifer—my heart is that of a poet—beatitude of colorful wings are dancing on the flowers—beauty is incarnated everywhere—God, yes divine Christ—love me as your son, as your very own—speak to me in your language—love me every day and bless me with love—nature is a gift so ethereal and kind—a love so tranquil—a mystic adoration—a kaleidoscope of the heart of God—a mystic poem—a song of love—a beatitude—an ornament to delight in—a karma of lights sounds and music—how I love solitudinizing nature—nature now leaving a rhythm of beauty—a hymn so kind—a decorated pastry—a wonderful incantation. This is a narrative in streams of consciousness. I admire James Joyce who was a master of it.

My development as a writer started from the buildungsroman that is autobiographical writings ….and then I proceed to become adept in the kunstlerroman, the aesthetic development of a writer. God has given me a new form, content and style. God has become a creative muse for me.
I have reached 49 years of life and it is now only that I have found Christ the savior. I am learning to love writing for him. I have a version of the Bible called the Message a bible written with allusions and idioms. I love reading it very much. Every day I get new inspirations when I read the Bible. I have started reading with Gospel of ST Mathew. Jesus has taught me the power of words and has told me to use words with caution. Yes words are things and by using them we bring our reality to existence.

It is blog writing that has helped me to evolve my writing. After reading God’s word the thoughts that are coming to me are immense.
What is the soul? It’s a wonder creation by God –a created star of beauty. I am so happy that God has promised me his riches in heaven. I look forward to eternity and living a life with Christ. I am happier in writing the creative words than typing on the keyboard as I am able to focus my thoughts very carefully.

We have to be sensitive to our souls—be happy with our hearts—and be contented with our bodies. God Christ I am so sorry for the sins I have committed in the past. Wash it all away like white snow. Make me a new person with a new body and soul. Dwell in me. Enrich my thoughts with the finesse of language.
Yes God I love you with all my heart and soul. I marvel at the way you overcame Satan’s temptation. You did love mankind that you have given your precious body and blood as an altar for redeeming mankind from sin. You are the true messiah that incarnated. The WORD in you became flesh and blood. I think of the marvelous way you confronted the prostitute and repentant thief. The prostitute washed your feet with luxurious perfume found in the land and the thief on the cross begged for forgiveness. Christianity became a way of life, a celebration with them. We should emulate the life of these saints.
Lord far from the negation of life and treatment of life as the chaotic and the absurd, in you Christ I have found that life is valuable. I follow life as purposeist. Life is valublelization of our souls and bodies. Yes Lord there’s a meaning and purpose in our life. Life of a purposeist lies in valuablelization. This existentialism post modernized.

I have also begun to think of the existentiallization of art? At an existential level art is music with three states called as ecstasy, angst and catharsis. Art in its highest form is praising you and that is ecstasy. The art of making love is catharsis. Bereavement of loved one can be called as angst. The other forms of are art cognition and interpretation. It is the art of making realized meaning. Making love as art is a form of poetic music.

Sometimes in our daily walk of life we forget to appreciate the beautiful, simple things of life. We become clouded by the vanity of our desires. The simple things of life: like watching a new born flower, enjoying the puddles of water that seeps in as rain, watching butterflies dance in the wind, watching lilies and roses sway in the wind, all these are nature’s precious gifts. Yes, we have to celebrate life with nature. Nature is a poem to be sung an art to live. We have to beautify living. Keeping a blog and recording our thoughts is a good thing. We must not be overcome by passionate temptations.

Today I spent all the day thinking, meditating and writing. Today was a meaningful day in my life. I was able to interpret the parables of Jesus, coin new idioms, play with language, and coin new figures of speech. I am able to balance life and language. I am able to harmonize my fictional self with my real self. I feel so happy and contented. From the desert I have traveled to the poetry of an oasis of hope. Literature is my life and I am happy with it.
Lord Jesus I want to travel all over the world and write and travelogues. I don’t have the means for it. This I put to you as a humble prayer. Give me plenty of opportunities to visit strange and exotic places. Help me write all my life. I put this request to you in humble prayer.
Lord I feel sorry for the people who idolize Christianity. I know that true Christianity is not found in idolatry. Lord I feel that we should Christianize Catholicism. I feel sorry for the sheer blasphemy of these people. It is said in the scripture that worship no graven image of any likeness found on the earth or in the sea. Lord let not people make a mockery of religion. It is said in Scripture that you must worship that Lord God Jesus with all your heart and your soul.

For me, I was thinking for a long time to move away from home and my wife and to stay independently. I have learnt to love my wife and the Lord has removed all my desires of wanting a home. Lord it’s my desire to paint and tile the school and also to buy a new vehicle and also to give the teachers a bonus. Lord I hope that you will hear my humble prayer requests. Lord let my pen become a slave for you and flower it to me with love. Christ has said whatever you yes on earth will be a yes in heaven. Lord I am happy that I have started writing for you. I am filled with so much love and so much gratitude. Lord give me the grace to love my wife and my children. Help me not to fall into the snare of the Devil Amen.

Camel and the Eye of a Needle

This metaphor was used by Jesus. A rich youth came to him and said he has obeyed all commands. The Jesus said: sell all your riches and give it to the poor. The man went away disappointed. Then Jesus said to his disciples: it is more easier for a Camel to Enter the Eye of a Needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Camel and the Eye of a Needle as an idiom mean something virtually impossible to accomplish. For me to become the President of America is the Camel and the Eye of a Needle. That task is the camel and the eye of a needle.

Figures of Speech

The Devil sits on a bed of lies. Deflate the Ego and Deify God. Morn was muse of colors. Jewels flew as poetic whispers. Don’t crucify the resurrected Christ. Sin—you are a living hell. Heaven is a treasure and earth a gift. We made love as sweet as music. Soul lives on a mountain of hope. The WORD was gifted through flesh. Messiah is kingdom of righteousness. In the morning the sun woke with a smiling face. Sperm ejaculated with a loud shout. I cello-ed her and she played the flute on me. A bard of yellow beauty perched on me and I trembled in delightful joy. Spring speaks the words of colors. Dear God—robe me a windfall. My purse is the economy of daily words. Politics is dirty linen. My prayers are heard as a melody in heaven and they reciprocated on earth as a song. Dawn an aura of light—shining now an epiphany—clouds are the art of a poet—a painter is drenching them slowly. Optimism is a new born flower. Life should be a feasting banquet. It is food for the soul and music for the spirit. Beauty you are God—you dwell as God. Dali proclaimed surrealism as the picturesque landscape of the unconscious. A dream is a symbol of words and pictures. The tree of life is a metaphor for Jesus Christ. A reader has to become a dramatist when he reads the novel. My body is an awakened poem. Jesus is human in flesh and divine in spirit. I sharpened my tool of logic. The heart is deep as an ocean and tall as a mountain. Sin is an open door if you let it come in. You can make your thoughts hell or a heaven. The cross is the symbol of martyr saint. Pride is a demon that incarnated in the Devil and for that reason he was cast down by God into the abyss of hell. Blues—the soul of music—Jazz the heart of music and rock—the melody of the soul. I hope today’s lottery will be a blossomed flower. Bali—you island—you are a nude erotic body of a woman. Poetry should be sensuous as wine. Booze hits the head with heavy thud. Tender is the womb that grows and soft is thing that comes out. Monsoon—you are the symphony of nature—you are the harp of nature. The broth of nature is blossomed flowers—the song of the seasons—the jewel of the monsoon. Luck be a pillar of sugar for me. The sun is hot fire in Kerala. Christ is joyful heaven. Oh God when will I have financial harvest? Mist arose across the earth as mystic bard. To sail with the winds of a windfall is a pleasant feeling. Lust is the brothel of desire and love the temple of passionate poetry. The moon cast a white silky web. What is the mushroom of thoughts you have? Don’t wear the clothes of pride. Eroticism is a painting of the body. Clouds are whispering epiphanies. Fornication, adultery and sodomy you are the fruit of evil. Give God the Glory and Devil the condemnation. Time is melodious poetry. I sit in a garden of tropes. My mind is a fertile land of imagination. Feelings, you are a river of beauty. The sky floated with a garden of tropes. Angst is a blister of the soul. Her head bore graying grasses. Her skin was the texture of velvet. The heart of fiction is the soul of words. The Sermon on the Mountain is a beatitude of art. Politics is a metaphor for deception. I am stoic Socrates and a pleasure ridden Epicurean. A novel is the prose of poetry. Feelings are a cathartic rain. Her body is a poem being read. The WORD is rich treasure—a HOPE to realize meaning. WORD of Heaven is wisdom and the word of Hell is carnal and fleshy. Freedom is a destiny of life. Hope is the spirit and luck the flesh. You can make a marvel of your thoughts. The wind shook with violent madness. Eros is the tapestry of the body and the word the tapestry of the soul. God has circumcised me with a new heart and a new body. A temptation is a sin that has to be ostracized from the start. The body is the rhythm of erotic poetry. I swam with my tongue in her lake and I made her poetry with ecstasy. Poetry is the rhythm of nature—it’s found in the blossomed flower—it’s found in ripe fruits—it’s found in birds singing in the sky—and it’s found in the cycle of nature as the seasons—nature is the habit of God to tune the nature with love. Depression I drown you in the deep sea. The Christian way of living is to sow the seeds of love, peace and joy. The sky in the evening lay like an impressionistic canvas, speaking in odes of rich colors—all of nature is smiling so sweetly. Epiphanies are gliding with wondrous delight. Nature is chanting the rhythm of poetry. Give patience and time for the soul to yield rich and ripe fruits—this may take years of experience. Waiting for gifts is hope on wings of time. Time is a tempest on wings. How to bring desire into the music of existence? Ballot is the democratic king for the voter. Wheel of luck run a race for me. Luck, hope and destiny you are a mirror seen so clearly. Web is a universe of words and pictures. Streams of consciousness, you breathe the soul of the language. The Universe is neither chaotic nor absurd but a meaningful totem. If luck could dance with me, it would be s splendid moment. A stream of hope can flow into the river of fulfillment. Eros you are the brain that wires—ecstasy you are the body that performs. Angel of luck opens your heart to me. I am writing a novel of form with the poetry of content. Hope you are an ornament to echo. If the past was anxiety: the present a hope: then the future would be a victory. She behaved with the torpedo of coldness. He did the work as fast as a running Cheetah. My sperm had the color of milk. Exodus and Diaspora are the twin brothers for the Israelites. Tarot, Occult and Astrology are all thoughts emanating from the Devil’s Den—don’t welcome them into your psyche. Cleanse your soul with wisdom. Stay clear of adultery and fornication for it is the lust of the Devil. The small voice talking to me without speech, all silent is the voice of God. Wisdom is God Christ in Flesh and Truth is God Christ as the Holy Spirit. The machine is rumbling a metaphor. Swim I an island of hope, travel in the island of luck. Truth, you have to master the human body called the veil of flesh. Capitalism in an idol that worships money. God’s wisdom is gentle and his love is meek. Coffee is the soul of beverages. Booze is the beverage of hell. In Christ as told by the parable: the early and the late bird catch the worm. A disciple of God is patience, humility and Kindness. Nature sings its songs through little dwarfs that float in the sky. Reality is the wardrobe of fictional truth. Christ is love personified. Christ you are a pen of fame, you deserve all love, praise and glory. Art is the mythology of nature. Caress your destiny with kisses. After we made love—she kissed me in gratitude of a poem. Gratitude—Chris, I offer you my oblation. Let the door of luck be opened. Transgression, you are en enemy of purity. I close the doors of sin with a loud shout. Prose personifies my body and poems personify my soul. Rainbow—you are a heart and melody of the soul. Worry no more: each day of life is canticle of beauty to live. I clasped a bunch of flowers called luck. The past is a song: the present a melody: the future a symphony. In Christ we don’t have to enact the myth of Sisyphus as propounded by Camus. Love is a sensitive perfume and spread its halo all around. To wonder is to be a muse of thought. Good Food is comfort for the stomach. Let a miracle called Jesus feed all my needs and hopes. Christmas is the time of gifts: Lord make each day a Christmas for me. Angels are an ornament of music. Time bequeath a favor for me. What is done in life is honored in death.

Writing the Novel Novel

I have said earlier: give the soul, a time of experience to generate the content of fiction. I discovered these three genres of fiction by the inspiration of the divine God Christ. I name them as follows: Painting-Novel, Narrative-Novel and Philosophical Novel.

Painting-Novel is the art of the novel: the novel is made to look like a painting. The writer has paint words with his pen. The writer has to ornament the language. Tropes are the pictures of the novel. Tropes are musical pictures.

Narrative-Novel includes time and characterization. There are two types of time Narrative Time and Symbolic Time. Narrative Time is the consciousness of the writer. Joyce James was a master of it through his fictive technique called streams of consciousness. The second time is symbolic time where the character lives thinks and feels. Symbolic time would incorporate the past, present and the future. Character is the resonance of the soul. Character should bring out all what the writer cannot speak or do in everyday language. Character is a spiritual, soulful aesthetic artifact.

The Third, belongs to the genre called Philosophical-Fiction. The writer plays with the philosophy of language. Idioms, Parables, Epiphanies, Puns, Illusions, Allusions, giving philosophical meanings to words, coining new words (neologisms), interpreting older texts in new language all belong to the genre of Philosophical Fiction.

I thank Jesus Christ for being the muse of inspiration.

March 23rd 2019

Morning walked across the sky lazily, spraying an aroma of colors. Tiny dwarfs of the earth chanted melodies.

I thank God for this beautiful Saturday morn. God has blessed me with a beautiful wife and two gorgeous children. My son is autistic and I am praying to God for his healing. My daughter with her teen life could have gone into muddy waters, but thanks to God and the blessed counseling of spiritual brothers, she is in beautiful water and is happily pursuing a course in dental science.

I was intensely reading the Gospel of Mathew and I came upon some new discoveries. There was a youth who wanted to follow Jesus and said to Jesus: I have obeyed all your commands. Then Jesus said to him: sell all your riches and give it to the poor and the needy and then follow me. The youth went away distraught. Jesus said to his disciples it is more difficult for a man with riches to enter the kingdom of Heaven than for a Camel to enter the eye of a needle. I was awe-struck by this profound metaphor. Yes, Christ the Lord teaches in the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Father Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread’. It is virtually impossible for a man with riches to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I wonder how God will judge celebrity Evangelists who flaunt their wealth and are out to dupe the innocent. Is Christianity a way of making money? The answer is no! Is Christianity a way of making millions? Is it right for Christian evangelists to show off with flashy sport cars and private Jets which are luxurious? Are they emulating Christ who lived a simple life? Aren’t they being hypocrites!
When the little children came to Jesus, they were shooed away by the disciples. Jesus said bring the little ones to me. The Jesus said: whoever wants to enter the kingdom of heaven must be like little Children. Little Children as an idiom means, being morally pure. I was addicted to pornography and during that time I was far away from being a little child. It is hard for grownups to be little children.

Then I came across the amazing Parable of Jesus. An estate manager wanted to hide laborers for his vineyard. In the morning he went to the market and hired people and offered them wages. This he went in the afternoon and evening and did the same. When the labor was over: he distributed the same wages. The workers complained that this was unfair. The estate manager replied that the giving of wages is left to the discretion of the master. It means that an early bird and a late bird catches the worm equally. Christ does not discriminate between the early and the late comers.

Then as I was reading the Gospel of Mathew, Jesus took some of his disciples and went on top of a hill and underwent transmogrification (change of form). Jesus changed his form into a divine body. Moses and Elijah were also with him. His body shone like the rays of the sun and his eyes twinkled with fire. There was a rainbow of a halo on his head. Transmogrification as idiom means having a spiritual character. Humans housed in the body of flesh find it difficult to be transmogrified. We have to develop the nature of transmogrification.