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Maxim

This is the post excerpt.

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Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. 

Oct 18th 2017

Feel like a worm of the Universe, feel, like dust…feel worthless, feel negated…suffer from existential nausea…feel deflated. Got a good paying, teaching job in Cambodia worth 1000$. But I am in the poverty of meeting travel and visa funds. I listened to a lot of self motivational thoughts about attracting positive vibrations of the Universe. But they yielded to nothing. I was not even able to win a single lottery prize. Folks at my home are also not willing to help me. I hopes are sunk and my ego is devastated. I do not know how life will go on. I even turned to the Devil and wrote poetry of praise for him. But all my efforts became futile. The Devil does not dance to the whims and fancies of man. I consider myself as a failed writer. But the ambition to write is a passion. Why does not the universe vibrate positively for me? I look for signs from the sky. I have seen many V’s. I read them as a sign of victory. Am I meant to be disastrous failure? Why is the myth of Sisyphus recurring in my life? My consciousness is a cigarette but trashed in the ashtray. I am feeling so lonesome in my life. My lovers seem to have deserted me. Should I turn to Christ? Or should I soak my own sorrows in existential dread. I contemplate suicide. Get drunk and take some poison. May be there are sunnier days to come. May be there’s poetry to the meaning of life. Yes, life is Camus’ the absurd. I am handed a job in a platter and yet I can’t take it. Why does this happen to me? Instead of being a worm of the universe why can’t I be a glow worm. I am fed up of quacks, astrologers and psychics. I can’t bear to face the torment of my own angst. Yes, Sartre says that we should existentially be responsible for the actions we take. But I can’t? Why God Christ have you forsaken me. ELOI ELOI LAMA SABACHITNAI? Why oh God have you forsaken me? For being a writer, I need to travel and see the world. Motivational speakers have crippled my life. I was taken by a ride by my girl friend in Texas who said she sent documents pertaining to her house for me to sell. Then she asked me to write to the courier company and they asked me shelve out 850$. To my sad fate, I realized it was a scam. To think of the poetry I have written for her. All for the meaning of love and in the end fate put its chains and I realized that I was duped. I feel sad that my Whatsapp girl friend is online but she is not texting me. Is there a true God? Or has religion evolved and become textual after being animistic. My Christian faith is so wavering. Yes, I love Christ more than anything else. I feel so sorry to have turned to the Devil. Is there a Philosophy in the world that will explain my life’s existence? When can I evolve the true essence of writing? I can’t mediate. I spent sleepless nights having restless dreams. Has the passion for life gone out of me? Why do I have to dance to the wishes of wife and mother? I hate them both. They won’t shell out the dough to reach Cambodia. Where will I turn to help? I am praying to my dead father please help me. It’s after so many years that I am getting a job. Why is fate being a cruel storm?

Love

Love is a passionate
soaring bird,
a tranquil poem of love…
In my heart there are
many poems to tell…
Words to speak to
my dear one like music…
Love’s mystic stream
overflows in cadences …
My heart speaks of
love for you…
You are passionate
garden growing
many fruit trees…
Let’s make love
in setting of dusk…
Let’s paint our bodies
with lyrics of beauty….
Love let it lie
submerged in us
as musician’s flute
is on his lips.

Love

Darling let me
paint words
in your heart
and etch a poem…
Our passions lie
deep like roots of a tree….
Your sweet embrace is
a calypso….
Kisses are medley
of music in jazz…
Love pours like a poem,
making the heart
warm and cozy….
Our feelings are
painted as a rainbow of petals…
I love to taste the
wine on your lips ….
I love to taste the
erotic fragrance of honey
on your lips ……
I would love to hear
you moan in ecstasy
Oh passion my depth
of heart and soul is for you.

 

Oct 7th 2017

The whole day was devoted to publishing a book of poetry called Whispers of Paradise. The book is an autobiographical epiphany. There are poems about the women I’ve loved, about places I have visited and nature. Most of the poems are lyrics and can be sung using a guitar. I am peeved because my Whatapp girlfriend is not communicating. My girl friend in Texas wants me to go to Malaysia and sell her house. She has sent the documents by courier. Since it’s an online relationship, I don’t know the extent of truth in it. Only time will tell. I became a happy metaphor when I completed my book of poetry.

 

The Murder at Ryan International School

I happened to read the shocking news of Child being molested and his throat being slit in one of India’s prominent International Schools. Despite stringent police checks pedophiles are able to transcend the safety net. There are many cases of pedophilia especially the one that happened in Jakarta’s leading International School. Why do these dastardly acts happen? It could be explained psychoanalytically as the perversion of the Oedipal Complex. Childhood traumas of the perpetrators are internalized and then projected into an ego bashing on kids. Now days schools do a strict background check up on their employees. But is that enough? It is rather surprising that those who abuse kids turn out to be men. I think Freud is wrong that women go through an oedipal trauma. In today’s electronic world and the sleazy slums of the third world Children are traumatized by savages and become severely victimized. All authorities need to take stringent actions to prevent such types of diabolic acts.

Love

Love’s pleasant feeling,
nurtures a tender worship….
Let’s render a song to the heart
and lift our souls to eternity’s music…
An embrace is painting
so beautifully etched….
Kisses wake like poetic music….
Love has a meaning
so profound ….
In the heart lies many passions…
Loved one, plant me kisses of the heart…

 

Love

Being in love
is a wonderful feeling…
Your eyes, your hair
all glow to me
as a lover’s delight…
I am forever yours
Stay in my arms,
kiss me and hug me
caress me
offer me everything
a lover would…
In you
I’ve found
an orchard of poetry …
I am sunk with
devouring passion for you.